There's a 30th in this month, right?

No shit, someone asked me that last night.

I was on the line for one of our tow companies dispatching a tow for one of the roadside assistance companies. Not a new experience, by any means. The details this time are a bit strange, however. The dispatcher, whom we'll call...Uhm.... Brandon prefaced the call with the information that his customer had already flagged down my driver, and was just calling to set up service and give me a purchase order.

Some 9 minutes and 22 seconds later (my actual second longest call EVER) he asked me if I could hold on 'a couple more minutes' because he was having problems generating the po.

I politely told him to fuck off.

No, I didn't say fuck off, I said politely. I informed him that I had calls on hold (which i did) and that he would have to call back. Which he did, and I was still on the phone with him for another 4 mins or so to get the fucking po. I was ready to kill the fucker, I shit you not.

During the first call, as he was trying to generate the po, he asked the question that titled this post, and it took all the will power I had not to respond.

I mean, I should have shouted into the mouth piece: "Is this February, you stupid fuck? Because if it's not, it has a 30th. Every month has a 30th you dipshit. Except for February, and as it's SUMMER, I think the odds are good that it's not February.

That was one of the 3 most memorable calls I had yesterday.

Another gem went something like this:

'Dr ******'s exchange this is T.J., how may I help you?'

'Is Dr ****** on call tonight?'

'No, I have Dr ****** on call that I can refer you to. Would you like the number?'

'No, I've been a patient of Dr ****** for 20 yrs now, that doctor won't know me. I think my neck is broken. Thanks.'

>--click<--

What?

You think you broke your FUCKING neck, and don't want to talk to a doctor? Are you brain damaged? Stoned? What?

Who in their fucking right mind wouldn't want to talk to any available doctor in a situation like that?

I'm at a complete loss. I don't expect today to be any better, as the insanity of yesterday was just leading up to today's full moon.

Joy.

Buenos con queso,

T.