Thursday, July 22, 2010

If you have to take me apart to get me there, then I don't want to go...

I don't know how much I've talked about it, but I'm a huge fan of Douglas Adams. Not only the 5 volume HHGTTG trilogy, but also the two Dirk Gently novels.

I've read the series more times than I can count, and my 'Don't Panic' tattoo is directly from the book.

In fact, I even got the template I used for the letters from the BBC production of the book.

It's science fiction, but it's not dry, hard to relate to science fiction.

It's laugh your ass off funny sciene fiction.

Below, is an excerpt from 'The Restaurant at the End of The Universe,' which illustrates his style of writing, and is a good example of why I love it so much. After the excerpt, there's a little song.

Share and Enjoy!!

Arthur woke up and instantly regretted it. Hangovers he'd had, but never anything on this scale. This was it, this was the big one, this was the ultimate pits. Matter transference beams, he decided, were not as much fun as, say, a good solid kick in the head.

Being for the moment unwilling to move on account of a dull stomping throb he was experiencing, he lay awhile and thought. The trouble with most forms of transport, he thought, is basically that not one of them is worth all the bother. On Earth -- when there had been an Earth, before it was demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass -- the problem had been with cars. The disadvantages involved in pulling lots of black sticky slime from out of the ground where it had been safely hidden out of harm's way, turning it into tar to cover the land with, smoke to fill the air with and pouring the rest into the sea, all seemed to outweigh the advantages of being able to get more quickly from one place to another -- particularly when the place you arrived at had probably become, as a result of this, very similar to the place you had left, i.e., covered with tar, full of smoke and short of fish.

And what about matter transference beams? Any form of transport which involved tearing you apart atom by atom, flinging those atoms through the sub-ether, and then jamming them back together again just when they were getting their first taste of freedom for years had to be bad news.

Many people had thought exactly this before Arthur Dent and had even gone to the lengths of writing songs about it. Here is one that used regularly to be chanted by huge crowds outside the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Teleport Systems factory on Happi-Werld III:

Aldebaran's great, okay,
Algol's pretty neat,
Betelgeuse's pretty girls
Will knock you off your feet.
They'll do anything you like
Real fast and then real slow,
But if you have to take me apart to get me there
Then I don't want to go.

Take me apart, take me apart,
What a way to roam
And if you have to take me apart to get me there
I'd rather stay at home.

Sirius is paved with gold
So I've heard it said
By nuts who then go on to say
"See Tau before you're dead."
I'll gladly take the high road
Or even take the low,
But if you have to take me apart to get me there
Then I, for one, won't go.

Take me apart, take me apart,
You must be off your head,
And if you try to take me apart to get me there
I'll stay right here in bed.

...and so on. Another favorite song was much shorter:

I teleported home one night
With Ron and Sid and Meg.
Ron stole Meggie's heart away
And I got Sidney's leg.

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Buenos con queso,


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Best tattoo question ever.....

I've mentionied it before, but I'm one of those folks that has no problem talking about my tats. In fact, I'm actually kind of bummed that more folks don't ask about them.

It's always fun to talk about tats with people.

Now, as you all may know, I have a kanji tat on my left inner forearm. I got is as a memorial for the folks I've lost in my life, and at the time I actually got it, I had lost four people in 5 months.

Now, given the preponderance of bad kanji tattoos out there, I did all my own research, and printed out a copy of the character that I wanted, and while I was 99% sure that it said 'death', as I'd intended, there was always that nagging little 1% of me that wondered:

Did I find the right kanji? Did the artist tattoo it on right? Would anyone really be able to read and understand it?

Well, the dilemma was solved for me this past Sunday. I was at work, and a lady I'd not seen before (but whom i now to to be japanese) asked me why I got/wanted a tattoo that said death.

I told her the story behind it, and how it was to remind me of all those I'd lost, all the while, brimming with joy that she'd seen and read it, and it actually said what I'd hoped it did.

Needless to say, I was in a great mood for the remainder of the day, and I still get a little grin when I think about it.

Buenos con queso,


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Dish Network is a flaming bag of dog poo.....

No, I'm serious.

We've had it for about 18 months now, and I have to say, it's prolly the worst thing I've ever spent money on.

It's not just that 85 percent of the channels are either pay per view, paid programming, or fucking home shopping network clones, nor the price they charge for 90 channels of pure crap.

No, what's been pissing me off (for like the last month) is that at least once a day (and sometimes up to 3 times a day) the fucking satellite signal drops, and I'm forced to watch the 'acquiring signal' screen for 10 minutes or so.

Today was the last straw.

As some of you may know, I'm a huge fan of the tv series Firefly. It's one of those shows that I loved so much that it died.

I lasted only a single season. In fact, a mere 14 episodes.

Not only did I love the stories, the premise, and the effects, but the cast was stellar. Nathan Fillion as Mal, Summer Glau as River Tam, and Alan Tudyk as the pilot Wash.

Adam Baldwin was in it, and a couple of other actors whose names you may not know. One of my favorite characters, in both the series, and the movie (serenity if you dont know) was Kaylee.

Played to perfection by Jewel Staite, Mal sums it up perfectly when he states: 'I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from bein' cheerful.'

Well, that right there says all you need to know about Kaylee. Well, except for the fact that I absolutely love her character. She's cute, she's funny, girly, and the ship's mechanic to boot.

She's wonderful.

Well, tonight, Jewel Staite was on Warehouse 13, which I've been waiting to watch since sometime in May or so when Jewel talked about her role on Twitter.

I set my DVR, and readied myself for the glory.

Then fucking piece of shit Dish Network lost the signal 3 fucking times in the first 15 minutes of the show....

No fucking joke.

I was (and am) sooooooooooooooooooooo fucking pissed. So pissed in fact, that I called and cancelled the fucking service.

Fucking piece of shit Dish Network.

Never again, you fucking fuckers.

Oh, and I got a job. I'm working at WalMart as a back room stocker. I'm not really sure of my duties, or my days, but my schedule is 4pm to 1am, which we like to call second or swing shift.

I'm just fine with the hours, in case you've forgotten.

Oh, and I didn't have to cut my hair, and I get to wear jeans to work.

I know, right?

Less than 3 weeks unemployed.

I think that's a record for me.

Buenos con queso,


Sunday, July 11, 2010

What can I say, I'm lame....

You'd think that with all this extra time on my hands, I'd be blogging more, but as you can see, I haven't been.

I don't know why really, except for the fact that without work, I have even less to blog about.

I am pretty excited about going to the Fandoango for brunch today. I know you don't really know what I'm talking about (except for you mom) but they have the best fucking buffet in the world.

Well, at least the best I've been to. Some family is coming up from CA, and all my local family (mom pop sis my 2 neices gramma sis's bf) are gonna go get our feed on.

Also, as it's Sunday, it's (pretty sure) a champagne brunch, so I get to do a bit of drinking too.

I'll twitter some updates and photos later, so if you don't follw me on twitter, you won't get the instant updates, and will have to come back later (or maybe tomorrow) for pix and such.

Buenos con queso,