Wednesday, April 30, 2008

An open letter to the asshole drivers of the world:

Dear fucktards,

I don't care how fucking important you think something is, there are some things you should never do in a moving vehicle.

Especially when I'm on the road.

First, and foremost, do not, I repeat do not, turn in front of a car doing 50-55 and drive 40. This is dangerous in a couple ways. I mean, if I wasn't expecting you to have done it, and prepared accordingly, this might have been bad. I mean, your numbheadedness might have caused an accident. Also, there's the chance that I'd deliberatlely run you off the road, pull you out of your car and kick your ass.

I don't care if you were 60, you prick.

Also, Please refrain from txting/talking/reading, ffs/and any other non-driving related activity while you're driving. Whatever you're doing, it's not more important than paying attention when you're driving. Nothing is so important that it can't wait 60 seconds while you find a place to pull over.

Oh, and another thing: Use your fucking blinkers, people. All you people that think you don't need to, that what you're doing should be obivious? Yeah, you all suck.

And not even very well.

There are lots of other issues I could discuss, and I'm sure y'all have your own pet peeves about it, but I'm going to preserve at least a little dignity.

Go to Hell, all of you,


Ok, now I'm going to go get my road rage issues worke out on GTA: IV.

This game smokes.

Buenos con queso,


ps oh yeah did you hear about this freak

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Written in longhand.....

Ok, so continuing with the whole 'letter' theme (even tho i already blew it) I'm presenting you with this:

Some time ago, Sandra had a post about how, as a writer, she sometimes missed/needed the physical act of writing. She and I traded a couple letters, and we've actually met in person as well, but we both kinda got too busy to continue.

So, I propose this:

Kat, please email me with a street addy (or txt me do you have my number) and I'll send you the pictured letter. The only cavet is that you send me one in return.

I'll even enclose a prize in the envelope.

Now, now ladies don't fight. I chose Kat 'cause she and I have a strange kind of rapport, and she's been with me almost from the

So, anyway, that's the deal.

No pressure.

I'll go email you my mbl number, just so you have it.

Buenos con queso,


Monday, April 28, 2008

This is the end, my only friend, the end

It's the anti-zenith.

Rock bottom.

We've come to the last letter in our little experiment. Strangley, the last letter is actually the last letter.

I'm speaking of course of

1. Radical...

2. What the Urban Dictionary has to zay.....

3. Play the game.

In other news, my copy of GTA IV has shipped, or so they tell me. I just hope it's here tomorrow (fuckin right) so that I can get my fix. It would be sweet, but I'm not holding my breath.

I mean really, even if it did come tomorrow I'd pass out.....

Prolly prang my head on something too, rendering me a vegetable, and thus unable to play what may very well be the 'game of the year' this year.

Ok, time to read some of y'all before I head to work.

Buenos con queso,


Sunday, April 27, 2008

Right on cue.....

Hello, and welcome to Sunday evening.

It was a fairly relaxed day at work, and I just finished eating a huge helping of Poppa's chili, so I guess you could say it's been a very good day.

The clouds were very trippy on my way home today, so I took some shots of them:

Pretty wierd, huh?

Ok, on to the moment you've all been waiting for, today's letter:

Have you figured it out yet?

It's 'Q,' of course. Kinda silly how 'U' is so near the top, and the one letter it's always associated with is second to last in usage..... It's a funny little world.

1. That's news to me.

2. Isn't that Qute?

3. And I think I found another blog to read.

So, there you have it. And I should tell you that tomorrow we will present you with the least commonly used letter in the English language. This saddles me with a bit of a problem, as there will be 2 days left without letters to post.

I guess I'll have to come up with something else.....

Buenos con queso,


Saturday, April 26, 2008

It's getting closer.....

I'm refering, of course, to the release of Grand Theft Auto IV. I think I mentioned that some time in the last few days, but hey, it's on my mind, what can I say?

I found a smokin' deal on a pre-order. It's $3.00 cheaper than the store, and it includes free shipping. How fuckin' cool is that? I'm just not sure if I'm going to get it on 4/29 (the actual release date) of if it will be shipped on that day, getting it to me within a few days....

Either way, I'm going to be playing the shit out of it. So much so, in fact, that I'm not even going to try to do NaBloPoMo in May (the theme is voices if you want to know) and I know that I'll prolly slip up and miss a couple posts.

It's just the way I am.

In other news, the march of the letters continues:

I know it's not the plain, simple letter photo you were expecting, but I've always thought Racer X was the coolest mutha fucka in animation.

Ok, so there's something that bothers me about 'X.' Thing is, I'm wondering if we even need it as a letter. Look at the 'X' section of your dictionary. Most of those words that start with the letter 'X' actually start with a 'Z' sound.

Maybe the let it in because it was cool or something.

Anyway, here's some 'X' stuff:

1. Music to my ears.

2. Another language, of sorts.

3. It's all in your genes.

Ok, so it's back to it tomorrow. At least I managed to kick the cold out before it got a good hold on me.

And now I'll leave you to your own devices.

Buenos con queso,


Friday, April 25, 2008

Today would have been 'J' day...

You know, in the whole 'how often are they used thing,' but since Kelwhy gave me the letter 'J' earlier this month when she tagged me with a 'letter' post, I've already visited this letter, and I think doing so again would be counterproductive.

Instead, I'm going to ressurect a fun game from a (now defunct i think) humor magazine I used to read. Way back in the long ago, I used to read a magazine called National Lampoon.

They have a website, and that's cool and all, but I miss the paper mag. I'm not sure if it's really dead or not but they used to have a feature called 'Letters from the Editors.' Now, the thing with this was, the letters are fake.


So, one I remember went something like this:

Dear Sirs,

If you want to know the truth, I am truly a tiger in the sack. That being said, I'd never give the time of day to a pathetic loser like yourself.

By the way, that thing on my's a melanoma, if that makes you feel better.


Cindy Crawford.

Also, it was pointed out by Kelwhy that 'K,' as a letter deserved a better shake of the stick.

To wit:

1. She's a weapon (and hawt too)!!

2. Ok, quit your winin'

3. 3D: The shape of things to come.

Ok, I need to recover from 18 (yes eighteen) holes of golf with a nice tasty nap.....

Buenos con queso,


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Still under the weather


Yeah, I'm still sick, tho not as sick as I was yesterday.

I'm still going to lame out though, ans I don't really feel like doing a lot of research/typing tonight....

Your letter for the day is:

Ok, I'm going to crash now and see if I can sleep this sick away in time for golf tomorrow.....

Buenos con queso,


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions.

That's just a cheesy way to let you know that I'm sick.

No, really.

This never happens to me, as my regular readers know.

I don't get sick.

Yeah, except like now. I'm freebasing Alka-Seltzer, and I'm on eating cough drops like candy, so I'm hopeful.

Also: Pops made a big pot of chicken soup, and that helped a lot.

Ok, so I'm like sick, and tho there are other things on my mind right now, I'm simply going to show you this:

and tell you it's the next letter.

I'm gonna go die now.

Buenos con queso,


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

3/5ths of my week gone, just like that.....

Ok, it's gone really fast, and I'm not sure why.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, not by a long bight.

It's been rather nice, in fact.

So, big news: Come 4/29 Rockstar will be releasing GTA IV, and I can't fuckin wait. I'm sure I've talked about the games somewhere in this blog, so I'm not gonna dwell on it, but suffice it to say that for the next month or so, I'm going to have absolutely no social life.

Hell, I might even take a sick day. I mean, I do get a few paid ones....the kind you have to take or you lose them.....


Also, Rush is a mere 2 weeks or so away. Another thing I can't fuckin' wait for. I'm not sure, but I may have a friend that can get me a room in Reno so I don't have to drive home after the show.

That would be the rockinest thing ever.

Ok, letter time.

Which one do you thing could possibly 'B' next?

1. A Blog

2. A slog.

3. A dog (notice that it is a bassett hound)

Buenos con queso,


Monday, April 21, 2008

What is it about Mondays?

Blue Monday
Rainy Days & Mondays(always get me down)
Monday Monday (can't trust that day)

I mean, they do have their down points, but really.

Ok, so it's a lame lead in to my letter post of the day

Don't pee yourself, it's coming:

1. Just afontof information.

2. See how they play?

3. Don't get defensive.

Buenos con queso,


Sunday, April 20, 2008

It was a pretty good Saturday.....

A few things happened that made it a great day. One of the biggest was when I got a call from L, asking me if I had time to go have some sushi...

Yeah, right. Like I don't have time for that like whenever...I mean really.

So we were going to go to National's, but sadly we found out that they're closed on Saturdays. Assholes. Instead we ended up at this place called Sushi Teri, and man oh man was it good.

We did all you can eat lunch (15.95 per person), and between the two of us, I think we polished off 7 long rolls and an order of upside down shrimp.

I ate soooo fucking much sushi, but it was sooooo fucking good.

L even paid this time, so I got off easy.

But, on to business:

We are gathered here to day to pay homage to the sometimes vowel, 'Y'.

1. This is kind of a strange one.....

2. Why are we here?

3. Whatever works.

Buenos con queso,


Saturday, April 19, 2008

I soooo forgot to title this before I posted.....

Yesterday saw a trip to Reno w/Pops and Sis. She had to go sign some paperwork for her new job (you can cheer for her now) and wanted some company. Also, Pops wanted to go to T.J. Maxx and get something he'd seen there a couple days before.

Sadly, it turns out that what he saw wasn't really what he thought it was, so he didn't get it. We wandered around the store for a bit. Man, there's a lot of stuff in there.

I didn't see anything I couldn't live without, tho.

On the way home, we stopped at our fast-becoming lunch obsession, B.J.'s Brewhouse Restaurant. The food in there is so the shit, and their beers (well the two ive had) are fantastic. If any of you live near one, I suggest ye git yer asses in there for a meal.

Their Jeramiah Red (killians copy) and PM Porter (guinessesque) are great, as are the avocado egg rolls. Crispy golden wontons wrap a tantalizing blend of avocados, cream cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, red onions, cilantro, pine nuts, chipotle pepper and spices. Served with a sweet tamarind sauce. Fucking YUM!!! It's reasonably priced, and you get lots of food.

Ok, enough food critic, as I'm sure you're all waiting in strained anticipation for:

The next player in our little game. I can only say that while it may be 16th in usage overall, if the fuckers that did the count had used my blog to test letter frequency, 'F' would have been somewhere near the fucking top, given my propensity to fucking swear here.

So, some 'F' things:

1. That's hot.

2. Can you picture this?

3. Not quite the 'F' word.

Ok, that's it for today. Time to surf a bit and watch a movie, I think. This letter posting thing kinda threw off my whole 'Saturday Movie Review' thing. Or maybe I just got lazy and didn't watch/review any movies.

Either way.

Buenos con queso,


Friday, April 18, 2008

A Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On.....

So, it was 102 years ago today that San Francisco got rocked by the famous earthquake.

They rebuilt, of course, as I'm sure you know. I've seen a couple things on Discovery/Whatever Educational Channel that have grim predictions for the future though. It seems that there are many places would be devastated if there were another big quake in The City.

Ok, now for it.

In our continuing saga of 'How Often Arey They Used,' we come to that most misnamed of all letters, the 'double u.'

I mean, really, shouldn't it be the 'double v?'

Most fonts display it that way.

I'm just sayin'.

Here's one for the ladies.

Some planetary concerns.

And one for the kiddies.

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting installment.

Ok, I have some running around to do today, so I'm out. Hope all is well with all y'all.

Oh, incidentally, yesterday was my 600th post.

It boggles the fucking mind.....

Buenos con queso,


Thursday, April 17, 2008

The world, dear Agnes, is a strange affair.....

No, really.

It is.

I'll tell you now that I'm absolutely bushed and thus tonight's post will be very brief.

I'll try and do better tomorrow.

May I have the envelope please?

And the letter is:

Yes, that's right, 'M' is the subject of today's post.

Tell 'M' what they've won, Johnny!!

1. Your first prize seems a little fishy.

2. Your very own slang ditionary.

3. And finally, an all expenses paid trip to Madagascar!!!

Buenos con queso,


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Personally, I'd never leave the 'Bing.....

That's about as obscure a reference as I can make, tho there are a couple folks who will understand right off.

So, today was kind of a trial. No, I'm not embroiled in legal proceedings, but my back is once again hovering somewhere between 'full on going out', and just slightly 'gone out.'

It's delicious.

As you can imagine, working in such a state is pleasure like no other. And before you ask, no, I didn't take anything for it.

Why, you ask?

Well, if I told you that 4 Advil, or Aleve, or any other fucking OTC pain reliever you can think of does nothing, would it change your question?

Hell, if all we have is asprin, I take 6. Today, however, I decided to forego the whole fucking process of pill taking, and progress straight to the liquid solution.

That's beer for those of you not on the same page. No, you ninnies, I didn't drink at work. I somehow managed to limp through my day, and came home to start self-medicating.

I've had a few (like 4 now i think) and I've been watching The Sopranos. I'm about 5 episodes into season 5, and I almost forgot to post. What a dumbass, huh?

Ok, hold on to your butts, as I present for your reading pleasure, the story of:

Once upon an alphabet, there were 5 vowels. A & E got together to form their own network. I, well, I was always kind of independent, and soon found work in the support industry.

O, was the well-rounded sort, and did odd jobs around racetracks. In some places, he was a real wheel.

U, well, U was a bit of an unruly sort. Always bent out of shape. Once he discovered horses, however, he was a shoe-in.

Before that, though, he did some of the following:

1. He got an education...

2. He glossed over some things.

3. And finally, he underwent a religious conversion.

Buenos con queso,


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My salad days, when I was green in judgement.....

Or something like that.

Had a pretty good day at work yesterday. I got to go on not 1, but 2 field trips.

The first was marginally non-exciting, as it was a 'quick' run to the Post Office to mail off the big boss's tax info.

The second, and more fun was to one of our local sub shops. T, one of my bosses offered the 'you fly, I'll buy' proposition. Since I (again) forgot to bring anything to eat, I was totally down with that.

Couple that with a fair amount of stuff to list, The Sopranos on my iPod, and just generally a fast day, and it works out to an alright day.

Letter 'C', come on down. You're the next contentant on The Letter Frequency Show!!!

1. Another language.

2. Define thyself.

3. Have fun in Kansas.

Ok, time for that whole 'get ready for work' thing. Can you feel the excitement?

Can you?

Buenos con queso,


Monday, April 14, 2008

What a rogue and peasant slave am I.....

That's right, I'ma culture up the internet.....

Or some shit like that. I'm always struggling for a title (well not always but a good bit of the time) so I'm going to fall back on the classics.....

The challenge is not only for you to name the author (easy) but also the play.....

Again, all I've done since my last post is sleep, so we're jumping right into today's letter:

11th letter fun coming:

1. Rock on!!

2. More music stuff...

3. Getting back to your roots.

Ok, so there you have it. 'L' stuff out the ass. Or something.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to finish getting ready for work.

Buenos con queso,


Sunday, April 13, 2008

Let's take him out back and beat the shit out of him.....*

It was a typical day, for a Sunday.

I woke up much earlier than I needed to, had a pretty good day at work, and actually remembered to watch The Simpsons.

I know how jealous you are all of my rockstar-like lifestyle, and I wish I could help you out with that, but I really can't. Unless you move out here and move in with me.

Even then you might fall behind, might not be able to keep up with the breakneck pace at which I live. I can coach you some, but you either have it or you don't.

Our letter today is the 4th letter of the alphabet, a little guy I like to call:

It's getting harder and harder to find interesting letter sites/lists everyday, and I'm doing my best not to do repeats, but it's a bit of a chore.

1. This is for all 'D' geeks out there.

2. Invest some time in D'is

3. Diseases.

Oh, and you can file these two stories under 'D' for 'dumbasses.'

Buenos con queso,


*This is a fairly tough one.....any guesses??

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Did you hear about the new Pirate movie?

It's rated 'Ahhrrrr.'

Which, coincidentaly enough, is a(nother) homophone for today's letter.

And as is the norm, here are a few 'R' related links for your viewing pleasure:

1. Watch your language.

2. Religion is the answer...

3. Is your city on this list?

Well, there you have it. Another letter laid bare for your inspection.

Now, since the only thing I've done since yesterday's post is sleep, I have no new tales of wonder or excitment to regale you with, and thus shall bid thee all adieu.

Buenos con queso,


Friday, April 11, 2008

No power in the 'verse can stop me.....

Ok, so here we are again.....

Well, here I am anyway. You're still there, wherever there is.

First things first, the concert.

Yeah, I couldn't find anyone to go with me, and since I wasn't really up for going alone, I chose the other route. I simply stayed home. If it were a group I was in love with musically (like the forthcoming rush show) I'm sure I would have gone. Since, however, it was a band/singer I had never heard of until I listed some of her cd's on ebay for work, I was a little less psyched for it.

Speaking of Rush, that's getting closer by the day, and I can't wait.

Now, let's end the suspense. I know all of you are wondering what today's letter is, so here you have it:

I chose this one because it's chocolate, and who doesn't love chocolate?

Ok, some 'h' related pages to follow:

1. The philosophical 'H'.

2. The diabolical 'H'

3. The educational 'H'.

Oh, and kudos to tusk/Michael for getting yesterday's movie quote.

Buenos con queso,


Thursday, April 10, 2008

I'm on the popcorn and coffee diet.....

No, really.....

It's more because I always forget to take lunch than anything else.

Well that, and the coffee and popcorn are free at work. See, we have one of these popcorn machines in the store. We make fresh corn every day for our customers (and employees), and as you can imagine, the coffee, well there's a coffee maker, and that's free too.

So, to business:

That's our next letter. Number 19 in your programs, number 7 in our hearts.

Here are some 'S' things.

And some bureaucratic solutions.

In other news, one of Dave the Roomie's customers (hes a server) gave him some concert tickets for his (upcoming) birthday, and he's forwarded them to me. That means that tonight (my friday no less) I'll be going to see Ani DiFranco. I'm not really familiar with her music, but hey, it's a free concert.

I'll try and get a couple ghetto pics with my phone.

Ok, time for my pre-work shower.

Buenos con queso,


Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer.....

Well not quite yet. We're actually getting winter's last gasp in these parts.

It actually looked like snow yesterday, and there's frost on the ground this morning. Lucky I have a carport, or I'd be scraping that shit off my windows today.

Well, on to today's letter:

Here is some 'N' stuff. And Here and here are a couple of cool sites I found while searching for a picture of the letter 'N' to use.

Buenos con queso,


Edit: They blocked my image, so I added a different one.....

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid.....

We now return to our regular posting schedule, already in progress.

Strangely, today's letter, 'I', immediately preceeds yesterday's letter, but it comes in 5th in overall usage, 18 places before it's neighbor. Kinda funny that next door neighbors could be so far apart.

Ok, some facts about 'I.' It's the 9th letter of the English alphabet, it's a homophone for the above pic, and it's the symbol for iodine.

That site is pretty....well, cool. If you're as elemental as I am.

Buenos con queso,


P.S. the title's another movie quote, for those of you playing along on the home game.....

Monday, April 07, 2008

I was down there mindin' my own Goddamn business, livin' ghetto fabulous*

And Kelwhy came down and fucked the whole thing up.

Well, not really, but she did sort of give me this post. She posted 10 words starting with 'K' and gave a reason for her choices. She then invited any and all comers to play along.

Since it's letter oriented, it fits into my NaBloPoMo theme, tho it does fuck up the order a bit. See, she assigned me the letter 'J', which is the 23rd most used letter. It's coming way out of order, but here are my 10 'J' words.

1. Jabberwocky- Why wouldn't you choose this one. Is there a funner word to say? I don't think so.

2. Jackass- No, it's not to honor the show or the movie....I haven't, nor will I ever, watch any of that fucking tripe. No, I just like to call people jackass.

3. Jackpot- This one's easy. Jackpots = money = more stuff. YAY!!!

4. Japan- What can I say about this one? I'm totally in love with Japan and the Japanese culture.

5. Jazzman- I like this one because of the Lisa Gets the Blues episode of The Simpsons, and Marge's admonition to 'get away from that jazzman.'

6. Jeopardy- I love this show. And I'm good.

7. Jewel- Because I love her music.

8. Jolly Roger- C'mon, the pirate flag? Is there anything cooler than the ol' skull and crossbones?

9. Juggle- Because I can.....

10. Juvenile 'Cause I'll always be one. Or at least act like one.

There you have it, my 10 words. I tried to pick words that I actually use, as opposed to some of the more obsure ones in my dictionary.

So, if you want to play along, either go comment at K's place, or comment here, and I'll give you a letter.

Buenos con queso,


* Name the movie that quote's from PSP!!!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

The big 'O'.....

Symbol of tires and orgasms the world 'round.

It's also the first letter in the word 'oops,' which is what I had Fri and Sat.

Well, they weren't really 'oopses' I guess. See, I was at L's house for the last couple days, and the only 'puter they have is her S.O.'s laptop, and it was with him at work most of the time I was there.

When the 'puter was at home, we were doing other things, so I just kinda made peace with the fact that I wasn't going to post.

Oh well, it's not the end of the world I guess.


And that's all I've got today.

Buenos con queso,


Thursday, April 03, 2008


Fonzi's catchphrase is also a homophone for today's letter.

In case you missed it, 'A' is the 3rd most used letter in the language.

Here is a house that looks like an 'A.' Unlike it's brethren, the A-frame house is not the 3rd most common house design.

Unless you live in Tahoe, then it's like the second most.

Or maybe the 1st.

I guess it's more common in areas where they measure annual snowfall in feet rather than inches. Snow is some heavy shit, and will crush a house for no other reason than to hear the crunch.

Snow's a mean, insensitive bastard that way.

Buenos con queso,


Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Tea for 2, and two for Tea.....

The letter

is the second most frequently used letter in the English language. Here are some letter 'T' related activities, and here are some words that start with 'T.'

In other news, PSP has correctly identified the quote from yesterday. I'm still waiting to see if anyone else can.....

She's requested that I make her waffles, and we're working on the fine points of that obligation.....

In other other news, Pops and I have scheduled a road trip for June.....

It seems one of my nieces or nephews is graduating the first weekend in said month, and he and I are going to drive up and spend a couple days with my older sister, L.

I've already gotten the time off, so that's cool. Now, there's just the waiting.....

Which as all y'all classic rockers know, is the hardest part.....

Buenos con queso,


Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Brought to you by the letter 'E'

For no reason at all, I've gone ahead and taken the plunge again.

NaBloPoMo has started a series of monthly contests. They're handing down a monthly theme (which i think is opional).

The theme this month is letters.

This is open to the blogger's own interpretation, from 'Dear Someone'type letters to the actual letters of the alphabet.

Being the unique soul that I am, I figured since there are 30 days in this month, I'd do 26 posts devoted to the letters, and 4 devoted to letters.

Well, you know what I mean. Also, to be special and less-than-mainstream, I'm not going to go in alphabetical order (so trite) but in the order of frequency of use in the English language.

Which brings us to our current post. Did you know that 'e' is the most commonly used letter in the English language? Well, it is. So, without futher ado:

E,e (ē), n, pl E's or Es, e's or es. 1. The fifth letter of the English alphabet, a vowel. 2. Any spoken sound represented by the letter E or e, as in met, meet, mere, etc. 3. Something having the shape of an E. 4. A written or printed representation of the letter E or e. 5. A device, as a printer's type, for reproducing the letter E, or e.

I still find it funny that letters have actual dictionary definitions. As you can see above, they're pretty lame, and I'm sure that's the only one I'll use. You can just change the letter to make the def. work.

And speaking of work, it's time to get ready for it.

Buenos con queso,