Thursday, February 25, 2010

It's not quite like Pawn Stars.....

I mean, I don't know if any of you are watching that, or if any of you even know (or remember) that I work in a pawn shop, but I watched an episode, just to see how far off they are.

Some of what they portray is acceptable, but I guarantee you that we almost never 'call our expert' on items that come into our store....

See, the deal is, we all kinda have to be experts on stuff.

Plus, there's the internet.

We usually use ebay (how lame right) to help us determine what stuff is worth. In the grand scheme of things, their prices are fairly accurate, as they demonstrate what people are actually willing to pay for stuff.

Certain things, like diamond jewelry, cars, and guns are easiest.

See, diamonds are gradeable, and gold is weighable.

Cars? Well, there's Kelly, and having a mechanic on staff to evaluate them makes that a breeze too.

Guns are easy too. Not just because all the guys here (and a couple of the girls) are waaaaaay into guns, and the owner is the most devoted of us all....

Plus, there's to help us. Much like ebay, this gives us a frame of reference.

Something you'll prolly never see on t.v. is this:

We hired a new guy yesterday. Both of my managers were excited for him to start, and hoping that he could do well.

This morning, on his 1st day, before even clocking in, he came in and announced that 'after sleeping on it' he didn't think he'd do well in the job, and rather than 'waste our time' he would rather not work here.

I know, right?

I guess some people just aren't cut out to be Pawn Stars.....

Buenos con queso,


Saturday, February 20, 2010

I'm not always ridiculous....

But I met someone today that I can almost guarantee is.

He was an older gentleman, with a moderate attempt at a beard, and thinning used to be blonde hair. He was talking to one the girls about a piece of jewelry when I first saw him. I wasn't really paying attention to him, but I was pickingu up a word here and there.

I'm not really sure how I got drawn into the conversation, but I think it started with my camera. He said something about Nikon, and we started talking cameras. Well, I was talking cameras.

He was talking about everything in the world, from the origin of the Peace sign to the physical properties of Titanium.

He touched on Chinese astrology, and how 'God does things' on odd numbered days. As we spoke (at length if youre not understanding) I noticed the hospital bracelet.

There was also the nervous-twitch-like way he kept snapping the fingers of his right hand.

I think the highlight of the conversation, for me anyhow, was when he pulled off his V.A. issued velcro fastening slippers, his olive drab sock, and pointed out to me that he was missing the big toe on his right foot.

I shit you not.

Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible to disengage from the conversation, as he was unrelenting. I finally caught a break when he asked where he could sit down to put his sock and slipper back on.

He shuffled around the jewelry case with a cry lf 'where's my toe?!?' and proceeded to find another victim.

I wish I could tell you that this was a made up story, but even I'm not that creative.

Buenos con queso,


Friday, February 19, 2010

To be honest, I think I'd rather have the disease.....

I'm sure you've seen the same commercials as me.

I think it's kind of funny that Big Pharm is actually advertising drugs themselves. Remember when you doctor told you about medicines that he thought could help you? He'd take your condition and history into account and by trial and error, he'd come up with medications to help you with your problems.

Now, every day, we get bombarded with ads for Paxil and Lunesta.

Don't these fuckers have enough money? I mean, do they really need to prey on these folks looking for relief? They plant an idea into their heads that their newest 'wonder drug' can cure up that stubborn liver failure or nervous disorder.

What gets me most of all, however, is the fucking side effects. The first 10 seconds of the commercial tells you what the drug is supposed to cure, and the next 2 minutes tells you all the things that can go wrong.....

Take Lunesta for example. Here's a drug that's supposed to help you sleep, get rest. Well, like lots of people, I have nights where I have trouble sleeping, and you all know (because i bitch about it incessantly) that I usually wake up way too early, but even if I thought it was enough of a problem to try this shit, I think I'd take a pass....

I quote:

Anxiety; decrease in sexual desire; difficulty with coordination; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; headache; indigestion; lightheadedness; nausea; nervousness; unpleasant taste; vomiting.

Now, thiese are the most common side effects. I've bolded a couple I want to talk about. Let's start with drowsiness.

Drowsiness. Really? In a sleep med? Drowsiness better be one of, if not the fucking main effect if I'm taking this shit to sleep.

Nervousness. That's great. Now I'm tired and nervous. I don't know about you, but I can't sleep when I'm nervous.

Vomiting. Yeah, that's helpful. Now, I'm drowsy, nervous, and I'm going to puke. Prolly in my bed, as I'm too drowsy to get to the bathroom. Yeah, I'd be nervous about that.....

Now, we have what the site calls SEVERE side effects. Just so you know, they're the ones that put severe in all caps.

So, things that can occur:

Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue; unusual hoarseness); aggressive behavior; breast growth; chest pain; confusion; depression; hallucinations; memory problems (such as amnesia); mental or mood changes; painful menstrual periods; seizures; severe mood swings; suicidal thoughts; swelling of hands or feet; symptoms of infection (eg, fever, sore throat, sinus or chest congestion); unusual or disturbing thoughts.

Really? In the commercial, they actually say 'walking, eating and driving while asleep with no memory of events' is a side effect.

What the fuck? I mean really.

If I'm up eating, sleeping or driving, I may be asleep, but I guaran-fucking-tee you I'm not getting rest.

And suicidal thoughts? Let's get real. I may have trouble sleeping, but I'm not about to blow my brains out because of it.

And that's just Lunesta.

A lot of the side effects listed above are pretty mild when compared to those from, say, Lexapro. This little wonder is an anti-depressant. After reading the side effects, I say 'yeah, right.'

The mild:

Constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; headache; increased sweating; lightheadedness when you stand or sit up; loss of appetite; nausea; stomach upset; tiredness; trouble sleeping

The ones I bolded are problematic. How can you be constipated and have diarrhea? Or be tired and drowsy and have trouble sleeping? I fucking swear.

And now, on to the severe ones:

Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); bizarre behavior; black or bloody stools; chest pain; confusion; decreased concentration; decreased coordination; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; hallucinations; memory loss; menstrual period changes; new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still; persistent or severe ringing in the ears;persistent, painful erection; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; seizures; severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping; severe or persistent headache; stomach pain; suicidal thoughts or attempts; tremor; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual or severe mental or mood changes; unusual weakness; vision changes; worsening of depression

I'm not going to bold and bitch about specifics in there, because I'd be here all day, and this post is already waaaaay too long, but for crying out loud people, this is a fucking anti-depressant. Most of the severe symptoms listed there would depress the most enthusiastic, well adjusted person on the planet, let alone someone who's already fucking depressed.

If you've got a few minutes, head over to and read some of the others. It's a hoot.

Ok, I'm done ranting for today.

Buenos con queso,


Thursday, February 18, 2010

Shaun White is fucking SICK!!!

That poor boy has got a disease, and I'm not sure there's a cure.

I don't know if any of you know anything about snowboarding, or even if any of you care, but he took the gold medal again last night.

His first run was 45.8 out of 50.

Based on qualifying, he got to make his run last, and after a near-perfect run, he was sitting in 1st place, with a second run to go.

All of the others tried, and some of them improved their scores, but nobody got close. Shaun got the medal standing at the top of the half-pipe.

He was faced with a choice at that point, and rather than just loaf it down the run, he went even bigger and better.

He finished the run with a new trick, one he came up with himself.

It's called a Double McTwist 1260. I don't even know how to begin to describe the trick, so I'm not going to try. I'm sure if you want you can find a video of his 'victory lap' out there on the 'net someplace, and I highly suggest you do.

The run, while stunningly spectacular, and even more perfect (48.5) was just icing on the cake. He did it mostly for the fans, I think, and to show off his new trick.

There's an interview with him on MSNBC, and he's said that if things work out, he'll be in Russia for the next winter games.

Here's hoping he is:

Buenos con queso,


Monday, February 15, 2010

Fuck ice skating.....

Now, now, hear me out.

As some of you may be doing, I've been watching the Olympics. All I've seen is some of the skiing, and of course, ice skating.

I watched Apollo Ohno and C.J. Celski win thier medals in speed skating.

The Cinderella story, of course, was Celski. I don't remember the particulars, but he had an accident some time back while skating.

Seems he fell, and in the process, cut himself with his skate.

He needed 60 stitches.

Sixty!! Shit, I've had stitches at least 5 times (not counting my wisdom teeth) and I haven't had 60 total.

The best part?

He was like an inch or so from severing his femoral artery. Now, I'm not sure of the exact amount of time, but I know that if you cut that baby, you bleed out in no time.

So, this guy was like an inch from death.

Then there's Zhang and Zhang (no relation) that skate couples. In the '06 Torino games, they did this:

You don't really have to watch the whole thing. Right about the 1:23 mark, they do one of the compulsary throw moves.

It does not go well.

The story ends happily, however. Believe it or not, that little girl gets up off the ice, and the pair manage to capture silver. They skated last night, and thy're still amazing.

There was another pair, from Germany I think, and they had an accident in the past too. The mention how the male's skate had 'nicked the face' of his partner.

She needed 80 stitches.

And plastic surgery.

So, while I'm in awe of the strength, stamina and determination that these athletes show, not to mention how fuking impossible it would be to try and pull that shit off while you're on ice (i have trouble walking on it for fuck's sake) I think I'll take a pass.....

I'm perfectly happy to just sit here and watch.

Buneos con queso,


Saturday, February 13, 2010

What's a 12 letter phrase for I'm not listening to you?

'I just hit mute.'

See, that's what I usually do when the commercials come on. Mostly because they're all so stupid and annoying.

It's not that hard to make a good commercial, but for some reason, the people making them seem to have some sort of brain deficency that makes them think that the more annoying something is, the more effective it is.

Well, let me ask you this: How effective can it possibly be if the only reaction it ivokes (in me and pops at least) is to immediatlely mute the tv and ignore the images on the screen?

Do you think I'm likely to use a company, or purchase a product that has been the source of constant annoyance for who knows how long?

Not fucking likely.

There are some out right now that I don't totally hate, but they're few and far beetween. The new Geico ones with the guy in the suit are pretty good. My fave is the 'Does a ten pound bag of flour make a pretty big biscuit' one.

Buenos con queso,