Sunday, April 29, 2007

My day off from reality.....

Ok....This is late being posted, and I have to post again right after, but here goes.

As you may know, I've had a rough few months of it.
I've been to 4 funerals in the last five and a half months, and we won't even talk about the other 'life factors.'

Don't look at me like that....

You all have them, so don't pretend you don't understand.

Then there was the whole 'your-son-has-a-mass-in-his-brain-' thing that I just went through (hes fine btw came through surgery fine waiting to leave for home).

Then there was the thought of talking to them. ALL of them.

I just couldn't take it.

So, on April 23, I did something unprecedented: I called in sick.

Well, that's what they call it, but I really just took a 'mental health' day. There is no way that I would have been able to deal with it (plus i thought his surgery was on tues i hate living so far away). Lisa and I spend a rad couple days (and scotty rocked too) just hanging out and 'being' together.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've called in sick plenty of times. Sometimes I was sick, sometimes, I just needed to go to the beach, but in the 25 months or so at my current job, I'd never done it.

Hell, I've never even been late.

Anyhow, that's my personal hell.

How's yours?

Huevos y carne,


Sunday, April 22, 2007

So, I'm home then.....

I couldn't do it.

I really wanted to, but I couldn't.

I had visions of myself, (print out of the 'Fartist' post in my hand) standing up before my assembled family and friends, and doing standup.

I discussed it with B and T, and I think L, and all of us agreed it would have been funny....

There's just something about doing fart jokes in church....

Anyhow, it was a looooooong weekend. I have a couple pix, but they're depressing.

Look for them soon.

Sadly, I have no pix of the drive home (in the snow, 04/22/07 coming over the pass) as the camera was in my pocket, and it was either drive and ignore the camera, or get it and crash the car.

You see my dilemma.

In other news:

I'm worried about Michael.

I've been dealing with it by not thinking about it. I can't let myself think too much about it. Not only because I can't deal with much of what might occur, but also so that I don't imagine some totally off-the-wall scenario, and it turns out to be exactly that.

They say God will never give you more than you can handle.

I'm wonderin'.


Thursday, April 19, 2007

This fuckin life.

I know it's been a while, and I apologize.

Quite a bit has happened, and not much of it good.

Michael was offered an job in Orange Co, making tons more money, and learning a trade that he was interested, so, sadly he decided to move away. It was a very short time together, but I enjoyed it.

During the time that we knew about this, I lost not one, but 2 uncles, as you may have read.

The weather has been shit, and work has been a pain in the ass.

Yesterday, I received this email:

I come with humble heart for prayer for my son, Michael.

He is in Orange County in the hospital after having a seizure. They have run tests to find a mass called a vascular malformation. He will need another procedure, then surgery to correct this problem, probably today.

Stan and I are going today, this morning to be with him, and hopefully bring him home thereafter.

Please pray for all of us, his sister Amanda is very shaken as well as the rest of us.

During the surgery he dislocated both shoulders so he is very sore and had to have them put back in, which now has him limited in movement for the next week or two.

Please pray the LOVE of Jesus surround him in every way.

Praise God for the tremendous friend that took him and has called me and cared for Michael while I have not been able to be there yet.

Praise the God above for the kindness and knowledge of the staff at the hospital and doctors. The speed at which they cared for Michael to find the root cause. Praise God for the ability to trust him in All things. Even those that are so important.

Pray this experience brings us all closer as a family and helps our faith unite.

Praise God that we can call upon each other to lean on, pray with, and serve one another through these kinds of experiences, and the daily lives we each have.

May God bless you as you find the love He has for you in this prayer time.

I am praying for all of you as well.

Thank you for being so important to me, and my family.

In grace and love, faith

Feel free to pass this on so that others can pray as well.

Today this was posted on his sister's blog:

it is now thursday morning.
yesterday was an interesting one.
we moved michael by ambulance to Mission Hopspital in Mission Viejo. He is in the ICU and doing okay. He is in pain in his shoulders where the dislocation took place, and his tongue where he bit it during the sezure.

Finally in the early evening, he has a angiogram. That was NOT what he was looking forward to, as they went throught the groin to do the procedure.
All we now know is that the mass is in the back left side of his brain, and that it is larger than thought.

We (Stan & I) stayed until 11pm, then went to Michael's friends house, Mark & Kathy Brown :0) Good names ;0)

this morning we missed getting here in time for the doctor by 20 minutes, so now we must wait ALL day until 5pm.
Michael is very upset as he is in pain and wants to know what we are doing next.

Thank you in advance for your continued support and prayers.
It looks like i will be gone more likely from teen search, and will miss all of you.
We have several options, but i am not sure what they are as yet.

surgery of some kind for sure.

today i am still at peace in the hands of the Lord, but more emotional. Please pray that i will stand firm in the Promises of our God.
Pray for Michael's frustration, as he has not had to wait on anything thus far and now is having reality about how docotrs and hospitals can be.
Help me to have wisdom, and to rest in God's arms.

I love you al so very much. and i am sure that God is going to bring forth new growth and life in all of this.

peace be with you my beloved ones, peace.

I'm really at a loss here.


Thursday, April 12, 2007

As promised, pictures

Ok. I got around to it.

With a nod northward, I present the 1st ever 'fishycam' shot:

Something to reflect upon:

This one's just ducky:

And now for some of the more sobering ones:

That was Olivia, the girl I worked with. And my Uncle Pat:

My new tat:

And finally, the April shower we got last night:

So there you go.

That's all for now,


Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Yesterday we got the news.

Uncle Claude, another of Pop's brothers, died. Of all my uncles, I think I knew Claude the best. Or at least, I knew him more.

He was a character, to be sure. Let's see, he smoked (mores if i remember correctly), and would sometimes let the whole cigarette burn into a single curled ash. He also loved to play Solitaire. He was a tyrant with the remote control, and would sometimes surprise you with a 'titty twister.'

The thing I remember most about him, however, was his prodigious gas. The man worked in flautulance the other men work in oils, or in clay.

You'd be sitting in the living room, and Claude would be sitting at the table, playing cards. He'd 'crazy Ivan' one way or another, and let go a depth charge. Sometimes, it sounded like a trumpetting elephant, somtimes like a chain saw. You never knew. Then Claude would get this big grin on his face as we all began to chew his ass about it, if you'll forgive the term.

Yes, my uncle Claude was a Fartist.

Please, in honor of my deceased, take this word and use it in your daily life, if only once.



Thursday, April 05, 2007

My tatoo is itching like a muthafucka...

To any of you that have one, this will not come as a surprise. Nor is it a surprise to me, I just felt like bitching about it, and this is where I do that.

I know I promised you pix, and if my kacdafrackin' cd drive were not being a piece of shit, I'd have posted them already.

I soooooo need a new puter. Anybody have any hand-me-downs?

Or, I suppose I could start a trust fund:

Help T.J. upgrade his lousy Pentium 3 500 Mhz computer.

I'm ghetto and a half.

Ok, that's all you get right now. Gonna try something different later with the pix....

Buenos con queso,


Sunday, April 01, 2007

It was almost more than I could (pall)bear...

So, I've done it.

I've attended my 3 funeral in 5 months.

Let's see, I've buried:

1. My 16-year-old cousin Justin.

2. My 22-year-0ld friend Olivia.

3. My 76-year-old uncle Pat.

It hasn't been an easy run, as I'm sure you can understand, but there have been some good things too. At Justin's funeral, for instance, I saw lots of family I'd not seen in forever and we actually made plans to (and followed up, no less) get together for reasons other than someone's death (see recent Gma's bday post).

At Olivia's passing, I was very melancholy. She was taken from her loved one way too early as well. I think about Skylar, and wonder what his life will be like. I can't imagine it. My boss did a very noble thing when Olivia died. He set up a trust for Skylar. I won't go into the gory details, but he should be set.

Uncle Pat's funeral saw another gathering of family long-missed. Again, it was a sad occaision, but even so we managed to have some good times as well. Pop's and my trip was surprisingly easy. We encountered almost no traffic, and spent far less that we had expected. Of course, we all again fell to the 'we only see each other when someone dies' lament, and exchanged phone numbers.

We'll see what happens. This is the notoriously procrastinitory branch of the family. I have hopes, but we shall see.

I have a couple funny things to go into, and will do so soon. I have a few pix to download first, but look for something tomorrow (if i get motivated).

Oh, and btw as I was sitting in the service room talking to my sister and some other members of my family I felt a discrete tap on my shoulder. It was my aunt Marilyn (the widow) asking me if I would be a pallbearer. Not knowing what else to say, I accepted.

Now that I think about it, tho I think I see a pattern. Of the 6 of us asked, 5 were his nephews. The 6th was his youngest daughter's boyfriend.

Ok, think I'm going to wind this up for now, but I'll be around shortly.