Fuck ice skating.....

Now, now, hear me out.

As some of you may be doing, I've been watching the Olympics. All I've seen is some of the skiing, and of course, ice skating.

I watched Apollo Ohno and C.J. Celski win thier medals in speed skating.

The Cinderella story, of course, was Celski. I don't remember the particulars, but he had an accident some time back while skating.

Seems he fell, and in the process, cut himself with his skate.

He needed 60 stitches.

Sixty!! Shit, I've had stitches at least 5 times (not counting my wisdom teeth) and I haven't had 60 total.

The best part?

He was like an inch or so from severing his femoral artery. Now, I'm not sure of the exact amount of time, but I know that if you cut that baby, you bleed out in no time.

So, this guy was like an inch from death.

Then there's Zhang and Zhang (no relation) that skate couples. In the '06 Torino games, they did this:



You don't really have to watch the whole thing. Right about the 1:23 mark, they do one of the compulsary throw moves.

It does not go well.

The story ends happily, however. Believe it or not, that little girl gets up off the ice, and the pair manage to capture silver. They skated last night, and thy're still amazing.

There was another pair, from Germany I think, and they had an accident in the past too. The mention how the male's skate had 'nicked the face' of his partner.

She needed 80 stitches.

And plastic surgery.

So, while I'm in awe of the strength, stamina and determination that these athletes show, not to mention how fuking impossible it would be to try and pull that shit off while you're on ice (i have trouble walking on it for fuck's sake) I think I'll take a pass.....

I'm perfectly happy to just sit here and watch.

Buneos con queso,

T.