There's a 30th in this month, right?

No shit, someone asked me that last night.

I was on the line for one of our tow companies dispatching a tow for one of the roadside assistance companies. Not a new experience, by any means. The details this time are a bit strange, however. The dispatcher, whom we'll call...Uhm.... Brandon prefaced the call with the information that his customer had already flagged down my driver, and was just calling to set up service and give me a purchase order.

Some 9 minutes and 22 seconds later (my actual second longest call EVER) he asked me if I could hold on 'a couple more minutes' because he was having problems generating the po.

I politely told him to fuck off.

No, I didn't say fuck off, I said politely. I informed him that I had calls on hold (which i did) and that he would have to call back. Which he did, and I was still on the phone with him for another 4 mins or so to get the fucking po. I was ready to kill the fucker, I shit you not.

During the first call, as he was trying to generate the po, he asked the question that titled this post, and it took all the will power I had not to respond.

I mean, I should have shouted into the mouth piece: "Is this February, you stupid fuck? Because if it's not, it has a 30th. Every month has a 30th you dipshit. Except for February, and as it's SUMMER, I think the odds are good that it's not February.

That was one of the 3 most memorable calls I had yesterday.

Another gem went something like this:

'Dr ******'s exchange this is T.J., how may I help you?'

'Is Dr ****** on call tonight?'

'No, I have Dr ****** on call that I can refer you to. Would you like the number?'

'No, I've been a patient of Dr ****** for 20 yrs now, that doctor won't know me. I think my neck is broken. Thanks.'

>--click<--

What?

You think you broke your FUCKING neck, and don't want to talk to a doctor? Are you brain damaged? Stoned? What?

Who in their fucking right mind wouldn't want to talk to any available doctor in a situation like that?

I'm at a complete loss. I don't expect today to be any better, as the insanity of yesterday was just leading up to today's full moon.

Joy.

Buenos con queso,

T.

If you wanna be my lover......

You better git wit' my friends.....

I've never really understood that.

Lessee...I want to have sex with you, but first, you want me to fuck your friends? How exactly does that work? I mean, I know they taught us to share in kindergarten, but this is fucking ridiculous.

You may not immediately see where this is going, but only if you haven't heard the news.

Ironic that this news comes amid other bomb stories.

If you ask me the more dangerous and deadly of the two is the former.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want....Sporty Spice.

Yeah, just once

For like 4 or 5 hours. And hey, we even have the same birthday. We could give each other 'presents.'

After that, I'd like them all to, in the words of The Who, 'fade away.'

Ok...outie.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Mark your calendars boys and girls....

That's right, come July 27th, there's an event you should not miss.....

The Sim-sons.

I can hardly wait. I've been waiting for this movie forever. I'm glad they finally got off their collective asses to give us fans something that we've been asking for for years now.

Now, if they'll only release a full-length Mc Bain movie, I'll be able to die a happy man.

Well, not yet, but eventually. There's still too much I want to do to die now.

They're still talking about the fire on all the big news channels. Today is going to be one of those days tho.

The wind has a very good chance of screwing the deal today. It's been less windy over the past couple days, but today the potential for winds gusting into the 30's brings with it a very real threat.

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger toured the disaster scene yesterday.

Not reported was whether or not he said 'I'll be back.'

Sigh.

The iPhone drops tomorrow. I'll never have one.

Not that I need one, but I'm a tech junkie. If it's cool, new, and electronic, I want one.

Well, actually, I want 2, and I want them yesterday.

Ok, that's my Thursday post.

Time to watch the re-broadcast of Paris Hilton's interview with Larry King.

Heh, I could use a good laugh.

Huevos sin blancos,

T.

What a weiner.....

In case you haven't heard, there's been a huge loss in the sports world.

No, I'm not talking about 'wrestler' Chris Benoit and his family. This, while tragic, has, in my opinion, very little to do with sports.

I never have, nor will I ever, consider 'pro wrestling' to be a sport. It's bullshit of the purest ray serene. As staged as any play, and as bad as any soap opera. It's as fake as Pamela Anderson's tits, and I've had my fill.

Of wrestling, mind, not Pam's titties.

No, I'm talking about Takeru 'Tsunami' Kobayashi.

In case you are unfamiliar with him, he is the hot dog eating champion, and he's been struck down in the prime of his career with a dibilitating injury:

Arthritis of the jaw.

What, you think I'm kidding?

Hah. This Bites.

If you can't tell, I've got CNN on, as there's not a fucking other thing on to watch. I'd heard about Tsunami earlier, and I'm not sure why I'm sharing now, other than to demonstrate that even on the 'news' channels, there's crap that nobody really cares about.

Pulpo ranchero,

T.

Overtime, sweet overtime.....

Well, you know how I was bitching about only getting 2 hrs of overtime on Monday, and how I'd have prefered a couple more hours?

I guess it's true that you need to be careful what you wish for, as you may get it. You see, someone called in sick yesterday. So, not only did I get called in 4 hrs early, but it worked out that I got a full 8hrs of overtime.

I made $111.60 for working yesterday. I also already have 6 other ot hours on this coming check, so we're edging ever closer to the new camera.

It's killing me tho, I have to tell you. I was so strung out by the end of shift last night. I felt like I had been beaten up.

And, no, I'm not into that.

Well, not much.

According to the schedule, I have my regular 2 days off next week, but I'm not holding my breath. Me having time off is entirely contingent upon nobody else calling in sick.

I hope I get them tho. I'm really starting to burn out.

Is is September yet?

Carne del diablo,

T.