My roommate Andy was a paranoid schizophrenic.

That's not just me using my High School Psych class to diagnose either.

Well, in all honesty, it is. I have to say though, I was right. Let me set this up for you a bit.

The Central Coast. For those of you not in the know, that's California. Think San Luis Obisbo. I was living in the roaring metropolis of Arroyo Grande, about 15 miles south of SLO.

That's what they call it, you know. SLO-Town. They're proud of being slow.

But, I digress.

The house I was living in can best be described as a 'rooming house.' The people that owned it lived there, but in a separate 'wing' of the house.* There were 5, maybe 6 rooms that they rented out, and I had one of them.

A couple of the guys, Pat, and Mike were pretty cool. Andy, however, was a genuine piece of work. Quiet guy, kind of a clean freak. Viet Nam Vet. But a nice guy a 'good fella', if you will. When first I met him, he seemed mostly normal. Slowly, tho, things began to change.

There are many things I could relate, many stories I could delve up, but none of them could sum it up like the following incident, and I swear it's true. I was woken out of a dead sleep one night, by Andy yelling. I'm not sure what he was saying before I woke up, but I remember what I heard after.

It still makes me shake my head. It's like 2, 3 in the morning, and I hear him scream at the top of his lungs "I need to come in for an EMERGENCY stool sample."

I shit you not (pun intended). You see, he was convinced that 'They' had come into his room and "put something up his ass."

I can only hope that whomever he was shouting at:

1. Was already up at that hour, and


2. Was prepared to deal with people talking about any stool sample, let alone an emergency one

Shortly after that, Andy moved out. Can you imagine why? I found out then that he was, in fact a paranoid schizophrenic, and also suffered from PTSD. Apparantly, if he stays on his meds, he's fine. I kinda liked him, and never really had any problems with him.

Anyhow, not sure why you'd want to know that, or that you care at all. Guess I'm out.

Gato el muerte,

T.

p.s. the above use of 'quotation marks' is to denote sarcasm, and I apologize for it's overuse, but I kinda like it. t.