One of the T.J.-vuest things to happen in a loooong time.....

So, ok.

I come home from work, and decide to relax with a little GTA IV. Now, with the two mission options I have available, I either have to be in a certain place at a certain time (like 8 or 9 hrs game time) or I need a cop car to finish the mission.

I've tried both missions before, and died trying each. One (the timing one) has tons of folks to kill, and mucho running around that has to be done....and then you get to the place where you're supposed to steal a car...(this is after like 5 or 10 mins of a running gunfight) and *BLAM* some asshole cop caps me in like one shot. This has happend several times...

The other involves using the computer in the cop car (yeah you can cool or what) to find a subjects known hangouts. The begining, where you get the mission, get a picture message on your cel phone, and actually begin the mission is simplicity itself (a good portion of it is cutscene anyhow). It all starts to fall apart for me at the 'find a cop car' stage of the mission. Now, don't get me wrong, there are cop cars all over the city, but like 99% of the time, they've got not 1, but 2 cops in them. I have found it virtually impossible to jack a coppermobile without caping at least one of the poor sods.

This results in an automatic '3 star wanted level' which those of you that play the games will recognize as pretty high. For those of you abstainers, imagine 2 different types of police vehicles, numerous foot patrolmen, and a chopper overhead with a spotlight.

Needless to say, this is not good. Well, I've got the car, now all I have to do is lose my wanted level, but even with the new, mostly easier system (quite different from the older ones) a level this high, while losable was destined to leave my car in unusable condition.

Usually on it's roof.....

So, I decided to get a cop car first, go get the mission, hop in my very own cruiser, and look the bastard up. 'Wait,' I can hear you say 'isn't stealing the cop car the problem?' Well, to answer your rather rude, interrupting question, yes, that's where my problems usually start. If you had let me finish, I would have said this: There are several Police stations around Liberty City, and each one usually has at least 2 cars sitting around unattended.

No problem, right? Yeah, except that using the game map that came with the disc (which has stations marked) and the in-game map (identical by the way though without cop shops marked) I was unable to find the fucker I was looking for. It just wasn't there.

Ok, so last night found me shutting the game off in frustration.

Whew, that's a lot of set up.

Tonight, I decided to try the "kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out' mission 1st, because I was sure I could get to a car and get the fuck out of Dodge.

Only not so much.

I ended up dead.

Again.

'Fuck this,' I say, and go ahead and do a side mission. This one involves a boat trip. It's not much of a side mission, and it's over in like 10 minutes. I disembark at the docks, and decide to check it out around there for pick ups and the like. I wander around for a bit, and don't find anything interesting.

Almost at random, I turn and look at the skyline. To my left, I see a skyscraper rising out of the ground, and think 'I wonder if I can just run in a straight line, climbing obstacles and the like, and make a beeline for the tower.'

So I do. I'm surprised that it's as easy as it is, but I continue nonetheless. I come to a wall, jump up and climb it, dropping to the other side. Across the street from me is my tower. Ranged around me are three fucking police cars.

I was standing in the parking lot of a fucking cop shop.

I actually had to get up and walk away from the game for a moment. As you might imagine, I took a car. I took it to my safehouse, because sometimes the game gets rid of the car you arrive in, saved and got the mission.

A quick cab ride back to my safehouse, and I was on my way to the killzone. After all that build up, it saddens me to say it took me less than 5 minutes to finish off the mission.

Yeah, I know.

Buenos con queso,

T.