There's an app for that

So, I was thinking back, and it's been ages since I made a post about my iPhone. What the hell's that about?

I know at least one of my readers has one (hey Q), but I don't know about the rest of you. If you don't, well, if you have the means I highly suggest you pick one up.

It's sooo choice.

I've been mucking about in the app store since I got my new baby, and I've acquired a fair few. I've only paid for one (its called appzilla and is 50 apps in one), and that cost me a massive $0.99.

I know, it was a wrench paying that, believe me.

I've got one that converts my iPhone into a police scanner. Well, not just police. Fire, weather, and oh yeah, I was listening to Tokyo air traffic control.....

I picked up a Twitter app, and of course, the marble maze. I also picked up Pandora.

I've got one that converts pictured into red/blue 3d images.

One I got in honor of one of my readers. She's been in and out around here. You may remember her as Whiskeymarie. See, she's a big monkey fanatic, and whenever I send her a package (which i just did) I make sure to put in a few monkey-related items.

So, here, for you Whiskey, is Monkey Flight.

I tried to embed that video, but it didn't want to play along.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Edit:

HA HA!! SCREW You Photobucket. YouTube rocks.

Ok, I'm not taking the blame this time.....

See, I was posting from my phone last night, like I've done several times, and for some reason, Blogger ate the post.

I totally could have reposted and all that crap, but I was tired, and just said Fuck It. I tend to say that a lot when I'm tired.

I'm still tired, just so you know. I woke up way to early (again), and now I'm waiting for my coffee to brew to try and take care of this tired for me. One of these nights, maybe I'll actually get some sleep.

Well, I can hope.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Geez....it's a good thing I'm not a brain surgeon or anything.....

Because if I forgot operations as often as I forget to blog, there'd be a lot of crazy/dead people out there.

I've been going over it in my head, and I can't figure out how or why I forgot to blog yesterday.

I know, I'll blame it on Thursday. I haven't blamed anything on Thursday in a while.

In case you don't follow me on twitter, I should tell you that we had snow on the ground yesterday morning. There wasn't a lot, or anything, but it was snow.....

Yes, that's right, fucking snow!!

What the shit is that about? It was supposed to snow last night, but I don't know if it did or not. I haven't really looked outside yet.

I guess that's all from T.J.land this am.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I'm broke down, insufferable--my mind is on the blink, It's later than you think and I'm too daze gone

Wait a minute, what happened to Monday and Tuesday...

Oh, yeah, now I remember. I went shopping all day Monday (see my tweets) and then did some drunken gambling.

Oh, and I had a surprise yesterday, and got to go play some golf (see my tweets).

On both of those days, due to beer and such, I found myself too relaxed to post....

Which basically means I fell asleep, and woke up too late (after midnight) to get a post in on time.

Oh well, as I said when I fucked up the first time this month, I'm pretty ok with the fact that I didn't get posts out.

I was having too much fun, and as long as I have an excuse, I don't mind that I missed.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I must be cruel, only to be kind: Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.

Aren't Fridays the shit?

I love them, even tho my Fridays are Sundays.

I wish I had some wonderful words of inspiriation for you all,
but I'm whipped.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Strange traffic.....

Ok, so I'll admit it.

I have stat trackers on my site. They're right over there, under my little flickr app. If you click on Sitemeter, or Feedjit, it will take you to the stats pages.....

I should tell you at the outset tho, that I'm not really interested in how many people hit my page, but rather where they're from, and mostly, what they searched to find my site.

I've talked about it before, but I still find it facinating what obscure search paramaters sometimes bring folks into my little world.

Some of you may remember this post from a while back.

Well, imagine my surprise when I checked my stats today, and saw that more than 20 people had hit that page today.

From Facebook.

Yeah, what the fuck?

So, diligently sorting through the info, I found that at approximately 10:45 am my time, someone in State College, Pennsylvania googled the phrase 'jeopardy toilet paper thief. '

Now, why anyone would be surfing that particular phrase is anybody's guess. I mean, if you'd never heard about it, you'd never search for it (obviously) and if you did know about it, why wouldn't you just write something yourself?

Or maybe try and find one with a little more information? Let's be honest: my post isn't chock full of facts or anything.

In re-reading it (i mean i had too right) I grinned as I read the 'call of the day.' It still cracks me up that someone would ask me the number for their own voicemail.

Oh, by the way, if any of you see a reference to that post on somebodys wall, or if some sends it to you, please let me know. I'm dying to see how it was presented on facebook.

Buenos con queso,

T.

The problem's plain to see; Too much technology

It occured to me tonight that with the obscene amount of MW2 I've been playing lately, I'm surprised that I haven't missed more days of blogging.

In fact, if you take into account that I'm even playing as I post, it's downright miraculous.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I don't have anything strange to say tonight.....

It's St. Patrick's day.

I had this for dinner:




Times 2. I'm stuffed, and I'm going to pass out now.

Buenos con queso,

T.

A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March

I had planned a whole big post for yesterday, but as you may have noticed, I missed my blogligation yesterday.

Yup, that's right, I fucked up again.

Oh well, I'm over worrying about it these days. If I remember, I remember, if I don't I don't.

Whatevez.

Buenos con queso,

T.

The strangest thing.....

I haven't posted about music in a while, but here goes.

So, I'm cruising through iTunes, building a playlist of 'essentials.'

There are some songs that I just have to be able to listen to whenever I want. Here, in no particular order, are a few of them.

1. Jet Airliner, by Steve Miller. (i love the joker and fly like an eagle but hear them too much)

2. Heart of Glass, by Blondie. (the original not the funky disco one *must* have the word ass or wph wtp)

3. Life in the Fast Lane, by The Eagles. (this is prolly #2 on my atf list)

4. Hard Headed Woman, by Elvis Presley. (he really was The King)

5. Juke Box Hero, by Foreigner. (what can i say)

I am sad to say that due to a past hard drive crash, there were some songs that I could not add to the playlist. These include, but are not limited to:

1. Industrial Disease, by The Dire Straits.

2. Hard to Handle, by The Black Crowes.

3. Why Can't I Be You?, by The Cure. (iknow right)

4. Rock of Ages, by Def Leppard, nor I might add, any of that album.

5. Most of my Rush collection (which im working on as i speak)

So, for no reason at all, I'm going to make this a meme. I'm not really one of those 'tag you're it' kind of meme'rs, so if you want to play along, please post your top 10 (or 5) songs. I'd appreceiate it if you put a link back to my post if you do.

Buenos con queso,

T.

P.S. one that i should have put in that top 5. dont know what i was thinkin' Turning Japanese, by The Vapors.

P.P.S. also, and i have no fucking idea how it ended up in my library, none other than the 1987 pop classic by Tiffany, I Think We're Alone Now. in case you were wondering, thats the strangest thing.

P.P.P.S last one, i promise. the title's actually a movie quote. obsure, but outstanding. any guesses?

Is it bad karma to pee on a fortune cookie?

I'm curious about that, cause last night at WalMart...

I went in to take a leak and saw a (packaged) fortune cookie in the knee-high urinal. Seeing it, and that the urnial was so low, I backed up a bit, and turned to the taller one.

As I stood there, I thought 'that's actually pretty funny. I should get a pic of that fortune cookie.' Of course, as soon as I thought that, someone came in and started using the other urinal, thus thwarting my photo opportunity.

I know he was peeing on a fortune cookie though, and I was just wondering if anyone knows if it's bad luck, like breaking a mirror, or walking under a ladder....

Please weigh in with your answers.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I have a great story to tell you...

Tomorrow.

I know, I suck, but I'm fucking bushed. I haven't slept all that well the last coue
nights.

Buenos con queso,

T.

You know something I don't need?

One more fucking person to tell me that I should get a fucking bike!!!!

I'm fucking serious, folks.

For some reason, the fact that I'm between vehicles seems to being the adviceniks out of the woodwork. For the record, I'm not adverse to bike riding. I've had my share of bikes, and while I've enjoyed riding them, most of my rides involved simple back and forth trips, which I suppose is what we're talking about, here, but with some important differences.

For example, the trip from my house to work takes just about as long walking as it would riding a bike against the wind, which due to our mountain winds would be both ways for me.

Also, as soon as you mount a bike, you're piloting a 'vehicle' and are subject to traffic laws. As a pedestrian, I always have the right of way. When a gust of wind blows sand in my face (a regular occurance) I can lower my head without fear of wrecking.

I don't have to find a place to lock up my shoes, either.

Are folks so adverse to walking in this day and age that the thought of someone doing it makes them want to fix something that's not broken?

I don't know, but the next person that says that to me stands a fair chance of getting punched in the chops.

I'm just sayin'.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Strange emails from the ethesphere.....

And no, I'm not talking about my spam...I plan on doing a blog about my spam at some point, but I always seem to put it off....

In any event, as you know (if youve read here for any length of time)one of my duties at work is to answer the store emails.

I get all kinds, just like my personal email.

Some are for one of the managers, or someone else in the store. These are dutifully printed out and hand delivered to the intended recpient. Often, they'll come back to me and tell me to respond, and what they'd like the response to be.

I also get spam at work (big surprise) but just like home, I neither open, nor read same. I simply bounce them to the sender, camoflauging our working email addy as a broken one.

I also get (rarely) emails asking valid questions about stuff on ebay or gun broker, or on the terms of our layaway.

Yes, we offer layaway. Even for things bought online. It's a wonderful world, and we're doing our best to make it better.....

I don't know if I've bitched about it here or not, but a good portion of my ebay mail contains only a single question: 'Do you have a "buy it now" price for this?'

Now, if any of you have been on ebay, you know that if there is a buy it now price, it's right fucking there!! If there isn't a buy it now price....well...there fucking isn't one there!!!

Well, needless to say, I got one of those today, to which I sent the usual response:

'Sorry, but my boss (and owner of the store) wants anything that we list to run the full length of the auction.

Thanks,

T.J.'

That's verbaitm. I mean, I've typed that enough times that I could type it with my eyes closed. Well, since I'm a touch typist, I can type pretty much anything with my eyes closed, but you get my point.

Somewhat later, I received an email telling me that 'I want to put this on layaway now, how do I do that' on an item that was still on auction!! I respond by saying that if someone is high bidder, and wins our item at the end of auction, we invoice them for a down payment, and go from there.

To which this fucktard responds 'Dang it. I thought you'd quote me a price and take it off of auction, and then I'd just pay it off all at once.'

I looked at the previously deleted email, and sure enough, it was the same prick I'd told earlier that we don't end auctions.

I swear, I fucking hate people.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I found this site.

I didn't really explore it, but it seems fun.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I hate when I forget to blog...

Well, I guess I didn't actually forget, but I almost did.

iPhone to the rescue once again...

Well, guess that's all for now.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I've always relied on the kindness of strangers...

Well, in all actuality, I guess I've always counted on the stupidity of strangers.

There's not a specific instance of stupidity that I came here to share today, I just thought it was a good twist on the classic quote I used for a title.

I think I may have seen the movie once, and I know there was an episode of The Simpsons wherein they did a Springfield version of it.

This is kind of rambling and strange, so it fits with the theme for the month.

Oh, I should mention that Mr. Ridiculous came in again yesterday, and I'm not ashamed to say that I ran away like a frightened little girl. I might have stayed, but he came in like 5 minutes before my shift was over.

Buenos con queso,

T.

At least now when I forget to blog before leaving the house...

I can just whip out my iPhone and take care of it while I ride (or walk) to work.

How cool is that?

So, are you all sick of hearing about my new phone yet?

Yeah, well, get used to it. I'm going to be going on about this new beauty for ages to come. Nothing really exciting today, just wanted to get my daily post in.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Do these cookies taste a little strange to you?

Disclaimer: The story you're about to read is true. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Mostly because there are only 2 people in the story, and I didn't know the other guy's name, and since I'm the other person, well, I'm pretty sure you'll know who I am even if I change my name.

Also, it's kinda gross, so if you're squeamish, you may not want to read any further.

Ok, so let me set the scene for you:

I was working at the 7-ELEVEn in Morro Bay California while I was going to school. It was a pretty good school job, as I had the swing shift (3-11pm) which gave me plenty of time for my classes during the day.

I knew most of my customers's faces, if not their names, and I had a good rapport with the folks that came into the store.

I also saw some shit that will turn you white, to quote Winston Zeddmore, and it was my stretch in that purgatory that produced the title for this blog, which will also be the title (eventually) of my book.

On the swing shift, I saw all types. Students from the local schools, parents on the way home from work, beach goers, old retired couples...It ran the gamut. I also saw many folks that were, let us say, chemically altered.

Not that I'm judging, or saying that getting your party on is a bad thing, but it gets kinda old when you have to wait on them.

This one night (i dont know what time but it was dark out) this group of kids (by my standards anyhow) comes in to feed their need for munchies. Again, not judging, but it can get realllllly old waiting on folks that are drunk/stoned.

They buy their items, and off they go.

Sometime later, one of them, I'll call him Blondie, returns. In his hands, he's carrying the box of cookies he bought. On his face, he's wearing an expression of combined revulsion and disbelief. He set them on the counter and said:

'Dude there's a problem with these cookies.'

Knowing that this kid's plastered, and wondering what could possibly be wrong with them, I open them up. I saw immediately what the problem was. Some of the cookies were mangled, and appeared to have been ground into powder.

Also, there were some very small moths in the package.

Oh, and moth larvae as well. Now, I don't know why fly larvae are called maggots, while moth larvae are called....well moth larvae, because at that moment, I couldn't have told you the difference.

The look on the kids face is starting to make sense now. If I'd been out partying and started eating a box of cookies then, I don't know, felt something crawling on me, or Heaven forbid, something burst in my mouth, I think I'd have been pretty grossed out too.

Tho I was feeling his pain, my only option is to offer him his money back. I mean, that's really all I could do. I tell him so, and says:

'No, dude, you don't understand. I ATE some of these.'

I told him that I did understand, and now matter how much I sympathized, the only thing I was authorized to do was refund his money. I told him that the owner would be in for the graveyard shift, but that unless and until he spoke to the owner, all I could do was refund his money.

Needless to say, he took it, and left without incident.

Ok, so yeah, it's gross, but even in the midst of my disgust, I couldn't help but wonder how they had gotten there. I mean I don't remember what kind of cookies they were, but the packaging seemed pretty secure. It was a white cardboard box which was tightly wrapped in paper, for crying out loud.

My only guess is that it must have happened in the plant somewhere, long before the cookies made it to us.

In any event, if you want my advice, always check your cookies before you eat them.

Buenos con queso,

T.

It's strange...

Having this iPhone, I mean.

Normally, I'd be at my desk doing this, but instead, I'm sitting in a chair in the living room waiting for my coffee to brew. Not that I'm complaining, you understand. There's something about the smell of coffee on the brew that's absolutely Heavenly.

Sadly, however, as much as I love my coffee (and i do) it doesn't quite live up to the smell. Popcorn's the same way. Again, I love me some popcorn, but it doesn't taste as good as it smells.

In fact, just about the only thing I can think of that does, is bacon.

Mmmmm..... Bacon.....

When it's cooking, it permeates the air with a promise of deliciousness, and unlike coffee and popcorn, it delivers.

Well, if it's cooked right.

There aren't many things worse than burnt bacon.

Or burnt popcorn for that matter.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I think I threw my back out opening my Carmex

Well, not really, but that's the most strenous thing I've done lately. I mean, I know I have a bad back, so I'm ultra careful.

I lift with my legs.

If I need to move something heavy, I'll get help.

In fact, I'll do almost anything to avoid putting my back out.

That being said, something went wrong yesterday. I don't know what happened, but all day yesterday (and so far today) it's all I can do to stand up.

In case you were wondering, it's not fun.

Buenos con queso,

T.

When you're strange....Faces come out of the rain...

I know, I know, that's two titles from the same song.

So sue me.

I'm going to tell you about the strangeness of my yesterday now. See, Monday has become the new 'cash my check and get my drunken gamble on' day. More of of necessity than anything else.

See, I get paid on Fridays, and I could totally go out Friday night and play, but then I'd be suffering on Saturday. Or I could go out on Sunday night, and be suffering Monday morning.

I find it's much nicer to walk over in the morning on Monday, though. There are those that will argue that you shouldn't drink 'before the sun's over the yard arm,' but I say nuts to that.

I'll drink whenever I damn well please, and there's not a fucking thing you can do to stop me.

Anyhoozle, Pops and I both had a good day at the casino. He cashed out $100. I cashed out $200. It's a good thing too, because, I was a victim of C.P.F. yesterday

For those of you that don't know, that's Catastrophic Phone Failure. It's not something I was unprepared for, you understand. I've had this particular cell phone for a year now, and it was really starting to show it's age. Well, yesterday, it gave up the ghost.

Fortunately, I had some ready cash for my upgrade, and after a short stroll to the AT&T store, I'm the proud owner of.....

....drumroll please.....

A brand-spanking-new iPhone.

That's right, bitches, I'm too cool for all of you now.

I've been playing with it almost non-stop since I got it. It's like butter baby. The only problem I can see coming from this new addition is that I'm prolly gonna be spending way too much money on ring tones.

They have a vast variety to choose from, and they're only like $1.29 each. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I prolly don't need more ringtones than the stock ones, but I know I'm going to get more.

I mean, wouldn't you?

Buenos con queso,

T.

People are strange when you're a stranger...

So, I signed up for nablopomo again.

The theme this month is strange.

I have plenty to say on the topic of strange, but for tonight I'll just say that it's strange to be posting from my phone...

Buenos con queso,

T.