Saturday Morning Movie Madness.....

Inspired (?) by my recent 'review' of Gigli, I've decided to devote Saturday mornings to sharing my opinion on movies with you.

This looks to be a recurring theme for a post, and will surely help me with the 365 posts I'm looking to share this year.

I've also kinda decided (also in the spirit of gigli) to review movies that I expect to be bad.

I mean, everybody reviews the blockbusters and Oscar nominees.

I plan to review the dollar store DVD's. You know the ones I mean. Although at my dollar store, they're 2 for a dollar, and I anticipate some real stinkers.

This first one, however, is going to be from a movie that was a bit more mainstream.

You may remember that some time back I bought and watched Not Another Teen Movie. I was plesantly surprised that it wasn't a total piece of dogshit. It was a mash up of all the teen movies (duh), but it had some of it's own goodness.

Shortly after (or perhaps before) there was a movie called Date Movie. I had seen ads for it, and it looked pretty funny. Well, it wasn't. In fact, I'm going to call it Don't Movie. It was that bad.

Given the whole 'I try to find something good even in the bad movies' trip that I have, I was looking for something redeeming in the film. It was basically My Big Fat Greek Wedding rolled up and shoved up the ass of Meet The Parents/Fockers, and wrapped in My Best Friend's Wedding.

And not in a good way. There were also elements of Jerry Maguire, Pretty Woman, Hitch, and incongruously Kill Bill. There were also nods (sometimes only a single scene) to Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Bridget Jones's Diary, and many others.

I measure a movie's success by how many times I laugh. Even if I'm the only one that would laugh at a given line, I still count that at a win.

Well, in the whole movie there was only one line that made me laugh.

I know, right?

The one line, delivered by Eddie Griffin, is a parody of the 'I'll take you down to Chinatown' line that Bobby DeNiro uses in Meet the Parents, and it goes like this:'Chinatown? I'll take your bitch ass to 134th street. Bust ya in the head with a pipe.'

Believe it or not, that was the only thing in the whole movie that got a reaction out of me.

Ok, there you have it. My first in the now-continuing series of bad movie reviews.

Buenos con queso,

T.