Geez....where to start...

I guess it's obvious that I haven't been posting lately.

I don't really have any excuse.

I've been tired, certainly, but that's no excuse.

I've been kind of depressed (anni of gregs death and all) but that's no excuse.

I don't have my computer/room set up from the move yet, but that's no excuse.

I can't even say that I haven't had stuff to blog about, because I have.....

I guess I'm just lame.

That's more of a reason than an excuse.....

I will say that Black Ops is fucking sick, and I plan to know soon if GT 5 is.....

Buenos con queso,

T.

The Measure of a Geek Should be his Potential for Disassembly.....

Or, to put it another way, my old man's a T.V. repairman. He's got the Ultimate set of tools.

Is it a guy thing? Maybe.

Is it a geek thing? Definitely

I'm not sure why, but for just about as long as I can remember, I've been in the business of taking things apart. Big things, little things...

Anythings, really.....

From the first time I found a rare-earth magnet in an old school (pre break up) Phone Company phone, I was hooked. I must have been 9 or so. Somehow, I'd come into possession of one that looked something like this:



I'll have to admit, I was pretty new to the game, and I had trouble with the dial (never did get it off), but when I found 3/4th's of an inch of a cylinder magnet that I could barely pull off the screwdriver?

Yeah, I was fucking hooked.

See, I think magnets are pretty cool.

So, in a search for them, and perhaps answers too, I began a long series of, well, lets call them 'component part reductions.' I've taken apart engines, waterbeds...computers.

Well, pretty much anything.

I've even put some of those things (back) together. Sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn't, but I know I've fixed not a few things just by taking them apart and putting them back together.

And that's the crux of it. See, in order to take things apart well, you need a certain set of hardware. I mean, everybody has a set of wrenches (dont they), and prolly 2 or 3 (each) Phillips/flat head screwdrivers, but we geeks need something more.

This is just part of my current bit set:



Oh, and in case you were wondering, all those fasteners? Yeah, you have to save them. Here's a glimpse my current 'screw jar.' (note the bag of torx in the background):




In addition, my bit driver (not pictured) has a neodymium magnet on an 'antenna' reacher that's like 2 feet long.




I've picked up batteries with it...

Now, with all the diversity of fastening options out there, one of the most ubiquitous, and various, must be the common screw.

I've seen screws 3 inches long, and I've seen them half an inch long. Only two choices, other than size. Phillip's, or flat.

Because I'm a geek, I'm happy to say I had the right driver (phillips) to remove this screw:



Say what you will, but that fucker's small...

Buenos con queso,

T.

Son number 1?.... Yeah?.... 'S tall drinka cocksucker's not dead

So, lots of things.....

I haven't been whining (or tweeting) about it, but I've been in absolute Hell since Saturday morning, when I woke up with a slighly sore throat.

Which was worse on Sunday, and accompanied by copius phlegm, both running out my nose, and clogging my lungs. It was so bad, in fact, that I went home early on Sunday.

And called in sick on Monday.

Due to the new (bullshit) scheduling and assorted other crap at work, I had the next 3 days (tue wed thu) off, and here it is, Thursday, and I'm feeling somewhat better.

I mean, I still feel like shit, but at least not loose, runny shit.

Sorry, but I've told you before, I don't pull punches.

What makes it even better, is that for the last 3 days, I've been (slowly) working through the mountain of shit in my room that needs to be discarded/organized/packed for the upcoming move. Add to that the dust (do you know any guys that dust) was beating the shit out of my allergies the last few days, and you can, perhaps, get a small glimpse of the Hell I've been in.

Or not.

I will say, packing my movies was like a trip down nostalgia lane. I saw/found titles I didn't know (or couldnt remember) I had, such as:

Nate and Hayes

Pump up the Volume

And of course, my old friend:

Schoolhouse Rock

Now, in all honesty, I knew I had that last one, I just wasn't sure exactly where it was. There were others, of course, I just posted a couple of the more obscure ones to see if you were paying attention.

I'm still working on the 'taking things apart' post, and hopefully, I'll have it cobbled together soon.

Ok, gonna go grab a beer, and jettison about 10 lbs of snot outta my noggin...

Buenos con queso,

T.

So, I guess I can share the big news...

I didn't want to jinx it by saying anything about it, but Pops and I are moving.

It's not far, and it's just another apartment, but still....

It's smaller, of course, but the owner pays the utilities....and the rent's 50 bux cheaper....

That's kind of hard to beat right there.

Of course, that means I/we have to pack/sort/sell 9 years worth of accumulated crap...

I am not amused.

Hell, I packed a box tonight with somewhere in the neighborhood of 172 DVD's, and I think that's like half of the movies in here.

That doesn't count video games (playstation playstation 2 playstation 3 xbox) or the maybe 60 CD's I still have....lost my music in the war.....

I have so much shit to do.

Oh, if any of you care, it looks like my schedule at work may be changing. We've gotten a new Store Director, and he's got very specific goals and plans, so he's kinda shaking things up.

In any event, I may soon be leading a 'swinger's' life. I mentioned it when I first got hired, and some of you may call it second shift, but for me, it's always been swing shift.

I'd be working 4pm to 1 am. It's kinda harsh, but when you consider that you can do just about anything 24 hours here, it's not so bad. You just adjust your routine.

In case you're wondering, shopping at 1am is peaceful.....

However it all shakes down, I have at least 2 more weeks of dayshift, and then...well, who knows?

My days off may even change.

Eh.

Anyhoo, just thought I'd pop in and share.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Eviill. Eviill like the frooits of the Deviill.....

What, you really didn't expect me to post yesterday, did you?

Silly rabbits.

Ok, so the other day (or a month ago) I was watching So I Married an Axe Murderer, which if you haven't seen it, is worth a look, if for no other reason, to see the origins of Dr. Evil, and prolly Fat Bastard as well.

In any event, there's a scene with Mike Meyers and Nancy Travis, and he says to her:

Ha! Name one evil thing you've done. And it has to be really evil. So evil, in fact, that you would say it was eviill. Eviill, like the frooits of the Deviill.

Just because of that, I started thinking about my own actions, and if any of them could be classified as evil. It was a tough lot of soul-searching, not just because nobody wants to believe they're evil, but because I've been a pretty nice guy for much of my career.....

I did come up with one thing tho, that while not 'like the frooits of the Deviill' was at least mostly evil.

This goes back to my Freshman year in High School, so like a billion years ago.... It's a long story (and i may have told parts of it before) but I spent the second semester of my Freshman year at the school in California that I would most likely have graduated from if we hadn't moved to Nevada.

Due to differences in class availability and such, one of the 'classes' I had was Library Science. This was basically 50 minutes of re-shelving books in the stacks, emptying trash cans, and when there was nothing else to do, reading.

It was a pretty sweet gig, actually.

Now, seeing as how this was like 1980, this next bit is/was all futuretechy.... They had what is now mandatory in all stores: Those little plastic towers that read the 'you're a thief' tags. In our case, it was a magnetic strip that had been installed in the spine of the book, and it actually locked the turnstile so you couldn't leave.....

Well, one day, as I was shelving the books, I found one that had the metal strip hanging out....almost all the way. Now, I'm not sure why, but rather than take the book up and report it, I simply removed the strip. I'm also not sure why I put it in the librarian's sweater pocket, but that's what I did.

Now, I was long gone before she would have tried to leave, but I often speculate on what might have happened. I can see her, alarm going off, unable to turn the stile, trying like Hell to figure out what was wrong. Maybe searching her purse for a book she'd forgotten to demagnetize....finally finding the little strip in her pocket....

Now, you may be wondering if I ever felt any repercussions from this little stunt, and I can happily say no, as she hung her sweater on a rack in a highly public area of the library.

Well, at least she used to.

Buenos con queso,

T.

They say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.....

I certainly hope that's not true.

If it is, I know right where I'm headed.

See, I've had the best of intentions to blog lately. I have some good stuff to share, including, but not limited to the following:

1. A photo blog entitled 'Found Faces.'
2. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
3. A really funny bit about my mother and some frogs....
4. Several work posts.
5. The Great Chicken Purchase of 2010.

That's just a few of the things I've had on my mind lately. I really, really meant to blog about at least one of those in the last...well, however long it's been since I've had a real post, and not a wimpy little 'I'm tired' one.

I do have some fun stuff to tell you, and a good number of pictures to go along with them, so bear with me, and I'll get you some good stuff soon.

And so, to the title.

Even if that's not true, I'm still pretty sure I'm heading somewhere warm when I die. I don't really think it's my fault tho. See, I'm the guy that sees a guy with one arm/half an arm, and I think to myself 'Need a hand?'

I've also been known to tell jokes about lawyers that are less than savory. I mean, lawyers are almost people, and I've made pretty bad fun of them on a regular basis.

I once even referred to a 'mentally ill small person' as being 'a little nuts.'

Nothing evil, you understand. Well, not really evil.

Not evil like the frooits of the Devill.*

But you know, not what the 'nice people' think.

Buenos con queso,

T.

*More on that tomorrow.

All your choices make you change your mind, now your calender's complete

So, a new banner pic, a new post.

Same old shit.

I'm tired all the time.

I'm sleeping like shit.....

I'm working too hard, for not enough money, and it's fucking killing me.

On another note, the Raiders are (i hope) beating the Bears atm, and I'm going to go watch.

Did I mention that, among other things, I'm a football whore.....

Buenos con queso,

T.

So, I totally didn't blog last night.....

But then, I guess you know that.

I'm just so tired when I get home these days. I mean, the walk to and from work isn't that bad (less than it was to the pawnshop) and in the mornings, while it's still cool, it's even kinda nice.

The walk home is usually a sweat-fest, but I have my iPhone, so at least I'm entertained.

The major difference is that I'm on my feet and moving all day at work, less breaks and lunch.

And up and down ladders.

And lifting/stacking/moving boxes of stuff.....some heavy, some not so much.

I mean, it's nice that I have stuff to do all day. There are very few 'what can I do now' moments, and that makes it easier to get through the day. It also makes the time go by faster (well seem to), which is nice.

I'm hopeful that once I get used to running around all day again that I'll be able to recover from it better.

As it stands tho, I'm just a tired pup.

Also: To the fuckwad that called me last night around midnight and woke me up....fuck you you wrong number dialing prick.

Since you woke me up, you could have at least stayed on the phone long enough for me to answer.....

Why were you even dialing a number. Don't you have a contact list in your fucking cell? Either put your fingers on a diet, or add the folks you want to call.

I was not amused!!

Buenos con queso,

T.

Dont' give me speeches, cause they're oh, so droll....Leave me alone, let me rock and roll....

I just looked, and noticed that I've had a pretty crappy post count for 2010. I'm not sure why that is exactly, but I'm going to try and to a little better.

I'm not making any promises, but....

Hell, I'm not even sure anybody's still reading this thing anyhow.

I never get comments anymore....except for the spam ones....which I now filter out...

My stat checker doesn't get hits from any of the ISPs I used to know...like Ohio or Lousiana.....or Michigan for that matter.

Are you folks still there?

Should I keep doing this?

Please, let me know if you're still out there reading.

Buenos con queso,

T.

PS mad bonus points if you can name the song/artist that the title comes from..... t.

I made a fortune selling bubblegum in Jr. High.....

Well, maybe not a fortune, but I (and greg) had a pretty sweet little racket.

It all started the Summer before my 8th grade year. Greg and I stopped by the local Long's drugstore, and I saw something I'd never seen before:

Banana Bubblicious.

Now, I'm a big fan of banana flavor, if it's subtle enough, so of course I bought it. I've never been the biggest fan of gum, but some things must be done. Needless to say, it was awesome!!

I only chewed one piece, and I saved the rest. School was starting the next day, and I wanted to have some gum for school. Little did I know but taking the gum to school would be a life-changing event.

As it turned out, that was the only piece I chewed. I ended up selling the remaining pieces (4 if you remember the package size) for fifty cents. Not each, mind, but total. Either way, I made enough to buy 2 packs.....

At the time of these events, see, Bubble Yum and Bubblicious were selling for twenty to twenty five cents per 5 piece pack.

What did I do with my .50 cents, you ask?

Well, I bought 2 packs for school the next day. Those 2 packs net me $1.00.

Which was enough for 8 packs....

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

Within a very short span of time, I was buying a box of gum (24 packs) every day, and selling same. I paid between $4.80 and $6.00 a box, and I was netting $12.00 every day.

As I said, it was quite a little racket.

Like all successful dealers, I followed the 3 rules of good business:

1. Give them what they want. My biggest sellers were banana, orange (both bubblicious), wild cherry, and regular old bubblegum flavor (bubble yum).

2. All cash all the time. I never extended credit. I'm sorry, but if you can't scrounge up the dime for your gum, you'll just have to think of something else. On a side note, I never traded gum for sexual favors.

3. Never get high on your own supply. Shortly after the onset of my entrepreneurial career, I gave up gum chewing almost totally. I would enjoy the occasional piece with friends, after the work day was done, or on special occasions, but very seldom did I indulge.

There were other considerations, of course. I did pay for protection (one piece a day to my muscle mark), and at least once, I had product stolen from me....but these things were just the cost of doing business. All in a day's work, so to speak.

Oh, and by the way, Greg was doing the same thing. We had different classes, and different clientele, so there were no 'gum turf' wars or anything. We were like Sears and Macy's.

This went on for months, and thinking back, I can't remember why we stopped, but we did. It was really a sweet deal.

And, in case you're wondering, I never got caught. Not many dealers can say that they went their whole career, from budding start to well deserved retirement without a single bust. To my knowledge, I was never even surveilled, or thought to be a person of interest.

I wish it was that easy to make money now.....

Buenos con queso,

T.

If you have to take me apart to get me there, then I don't want to go...

I don't know how much I've talked about it, but I'm a huge fan of Douglas Adams. Not only the 5 volume HHGTTG trilogy, but also the two Dirk Gently novels.

I've read the series more times than I can count, and my 'Don't Panic' tattoo is directly from the book.

In fact, I even got the template I used for the letters from the BBC production of the book.

It's science fiction, but it's not dry, hard to relate to science fiction.

It's laugh your ass off funny sciene fiction.

Below, is an excerpt from 'The Restaurant at the End of The Universe,' which illustrates his style of writing, and is a good example of why I love it so much. After the excerpt, there's a little song.

Share and Enjoy!!

Arthur woke up and instantly regretted it. Hangovers he'd had, but never anything on this scale. This was it, this was the big one, this was the ultimate pits. Matter transference beams, he decided, were not as much fun as, say, a good solid kick in the head.

Being for the moment unwilling to move on account of a dull stomping throb he was experiencing, he lay awhile and thought. The trouble with most forms of transport, he thought, is basically that not one of them is worth all the bother. On Earth -- when there had been an Earth, before it was demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass -- the problem had been with cars. The disadvantages involved in pulling lots of black sticky slime from out of the ground where it had been safely hidden out of harm's way, turning it into tar to cover the land with, smoke to fill the air with and pouring the rest into the sea, all seemed to outweigh the advantages of being able to get more quickly from one place to another -- particularly when the place you arrived at had probably become, as a result of this, very similar to the place you had left, i.e., covered with tar, full of smoke and short of fish.

And what about matter transference beams? Any form of transport which involved tearing you apart atom by atom, flinging those atoms through the sub-ether, and then jamming them back together again just when they were getting their first taste of freedom for years had to be bad news.

Many people had thought exactly this before Arthur Dent and had even gone to the lengths of writing songs about it. Here is one that used regularly to be chanted by huge crowds outside the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Teleport Systems factory on Happi-Werld III:

Aldebaran's great, okay,
Algol's pretty neat,
Betelgeuse's pretty girls
Will knock you off your feet.
They'll do anything you like
Real fast and then real slow,
But if you have to take me apart to get me there
Then I don't want to go.

Singing,
Take me apart, take me apart,
What a way to roam
And if you have to take me apart to get me there
I'd rather stay at home.

Sirius is paved with gold
So I've heard it said
By nuts who then go on to say
"See Tau before you're dead."
I'll gladly take the high road
Or even take the low,
But if you have to take me apart to get me there
Then I, for one, won't go.

Singing,
Take me apart, take me apart,
You must be off your head,
And if you try to take me apart to get me there
I'll stay right here in bed.

...and so on. Another favorite song was much shorter:

I teleported home one night
With Ron and Sid and Meg.
Ron stole Meggie's heart away
And I got Sidney's leg.

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Buenos con queso,

T.

Best tattoo question ever.....

I've mentionied it before, but I'm one of those folks that has no problem talking about my tats. In fact, I'm actually kind of bummed that more folks don't ask about them.

It's always fun to talk about tats with people.

Now, as you all may know, I have a kanji tat on my left inner forearm. I got is as a memorial for the folks I've lost in my life, and at the time I actually got it, I had lost four people in 5 months.

Now, given the preponderance of bad kanji tattoos out there, I did all my own research, and printed out a copy of the character that I wanted, and while I was 99% sure that it said 'death', as I'd intended, there was always that nagging little 1% of me that wondered:

Did I find the right kanji? Did the artist tattoo it on right? Would anyone really be able to read and understand it?

Well, the dilemma was solved for me this past Sunday. I was at work, and a lady I'd not seen before (but whom i now to to be japanese) asked me why I got/wanted a tattoo that said death.

I told her the story behind it, and how it was to remind me of all those I'd lost, all the while, brimming with joy that she'd seen and read it, and it actually said what I'd hoped it did.

Needless to say, I was in a great mood for the remainder of the day, and I still get a little grin when I think about it.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Dish Network is a flaming bag of dog poo.....

No, I'm serious.

We've had it for about 18 months now, and I have to say, it's prolly the worst thing I've ever spent money on.

It's not just that 85 percent of the channels are either pay per view, paid programming, or fucking home shopping network clones, nor the price they charge for 90 channels of pure crap.

No, what's been pissing me off (for like the last month) is that at least once a day (and sometimes up to 3 times a day) the fucking satellite signal drops, and I'm forced to watch the 'acquiring signal' screen for 10 minutes or so.

Today was the last straw.

As some of you may know, I'm a huge fan of the tv series Firefly. It's one of those shows that I loved so much that it died.

I lasted only a single season. In fact, a mere 14 episodes.

Not only did I love the stories, the premise, and the effects, but the cast was stellar. Nathan Fillion as Mal, Summer Glau as River Tam, and Alan Tudyk as the pilot Wash.

Adam Baldwin was in it, and a couple of other actors whose names you may not know. One of my favorite characters, in both the series, and the movie (serenity if you dont know) was Kaylee.

Played to perfection by Jewel Staite, Mal sums it up perfectly when he states: 'I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from bein' cheerful.'

Well, that right there says all you need to know about Kaylee. Well, except for the fact that I absolutely love her character. She's cute, she's funny, girly, and the ship's mechanic to boot.

She's wonderful.

Well, tonight, Jewel Staite was on Warehouse 13, which I've been waiting to watch since sometime in May or so when Jewel talked about her role on Twitter.

I set my DVR, and readied myself for the glory.

Then fucking piece of shit Dish Network lost the signal 3 fucking times in the first 15 minutes of the show....

No fucking joke.

I was (and am) sooooooooooooooooooooo fucking pissed. So pissed in fact, that I called and cancelled the fucking service.

Fucking piece of shit Dish Network.

Never again, you fucking fuckers.

Oh, and I got a job. I'm working at WalMart as a back room stocker. I'm not really sure of my duties, or my days, but my schedule is 4pm to 1am, which we like to call second or swing shift.

I'm just fine with the hours, in case you've forgotten.

Oh, and I didn't have to cut my hair, and I get to wear jeans to work.

I know, right?

Less than 3 weeks unemployed.

I think that's a record for me.

Buenos con queso,

T.

What can I say, I'm lame....

You'd think that with all this extra time on my hands, I'd be blogging more, but as you can see, I haven't been.

I don't know why really, except for the fact that without work, I have even less to blog about.

I am pretty excited about going to the Fandoango for brunch today. I know you don't really know what I'm talking about (except for you mom) but they have the best fucking buffet in the world.

Well, at least the best I've been to. Some family is coming up from CA, and all my local family (mom pop sis my 2 neices gramma sis's bf) are gonna go get our feed on.

Also, as it's Sunday, it's (pretty sure) a champagne brunch, so I get to do a bit of drinking too.

I'll twitter some updates and photos later, so if you don't follw me on twitter, you won't get the instant updates, and will have to come back later (or maybe tomorrow) for pix and such.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Busy busy busy

Well, not really.

You can actually translate the title to read: I've been playing alot of EverQuest lately.

I could go into the details, but as I've pointed out on more than one occasion, only one of my readers (hi andie) would really appriciate hearing about it.

And I'm not even sure she would, so I'll just say I'm having fun with it.

I've been neglecting other things, like my blog....

I also have some news (possibly) but I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not going to say anything about it.

Well, I guess I just said something about it, but I'm not going to say any more.

For now.

Buenos con queso,

T.

So, I guess I should have waited to post yesterday....

At least I'd have had something to post about.

If you follow me on Twitter (and if you dont why dont you), or if you're in my family then you know that I got fired yesterday.

If you're not, then I guess you just found out.

Of course, I didn't find that out until after I'd walked all the way to work. My boss, who has to answer to the owner, delivered the news in his office shortly after I arrived at work.

He wasn't happy about having to let me go, but the owner is the owner, and what he says pretty much goes.

I guess it seems he didn't think I was listing enough stuff on ebay, even though not having stuff to list isn't really my fault.

Oh well, what can you do?

So now, I get the joy of finding a new job. I'm not really worried about finding one yet, even with the depressed economy, as I've always been able to find a job. Of course, it's only been a day (already applied at walmart) and of course, I'll be applying around town, but as it's only been a day, I'm not stressing.

Yet.

If things don't go well, then we'll see. I'm easy though, in that I'll take just about anything. I'm not one of those types that will turn my nose up at a job. Hell, if worse comes to worst, I'll get a job at Taco Bell or something.

I'm pretty sure that I'm just going to fuck off today. I may go out and apply a couple places, but I'm not sure. I suppose I could use today to get a sample manuscript together so that I can start sending it around to get my book deal.

That'd solve all my job problems.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Am I going mad or did the word think escape your lips?

It seems like every time I blog I'm apologizing for not having blogged.

I'm sure that gets as old for you as it does for me, so I'll try not to do that anymore. I wish (as usual) that I had wonderfully exciting tales of wonder and awe to explain my absence, but once again, I have nothing.

I guess that actually goes part of the way to explaining why I haven't been blogging.

Not a lot has really been going on. It's started getting hotter, which is a blessing and a curse, cause when it gets hot here, it gets hot. Today is predicted to be 87, which isn't all that hot, I guess, but it still sucks.

I really wish I had more, but....

Ok, time to get ready for work.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Wish me luck.....

I'm sending my new computer back today.

Please join me in hoping/praying that they can find out what's wrong with it, and make it work for me.

Although, at this point, I'd almost rather they offer me a refund, 'cause Lappy's doing just fine as an eq machine....

Well, it's another 'from work' post, so it's short.

Buenos con queso,

T.

So, I re-activated my Netflix....

And I'm already in love with the 'stream to the PS3' thing.

They sent me a disc (that i dont have to return) to put in, which gives you a code (that i can enter on my iphone) and viola, I can choose from tons of tv shows or movies that I can watch instantly.

Well, to be honest, it takes a minute or 2 to get going, so it's not instantly, but it's pretty fuckin' close.

In addition to that, I still get to have them send me DVDs to watch. The plan I'm on allows me one at a time, but as many as I can watch in a month.

All that for $8.99.

How could you possibly go wrong?

Buenos con queso,

T.

Oh, don't look at me like that....The internet is full of broken promises....

I know I said I'd be back yesterday, but yesterday didn't go quite as I'd planned. First of all, it was fucking hot. Not as hot as Vegas, or some other places, granted, but I don't do well in the heat.

Part of it's because my body temperature runs somewhere between 99.5 and 100, and part of it is because I have hair almost down to my ass. Throw in crappy air circulation at work, a dress code that won't allow me to wear shorts, and no a/c, and you can begin to understand my prediciment.

The heat started making me feel sick somewhere around 11 or so, and it didn't really let up until about 15 minutes after I got home and swapped my work clothes for a pair of shorts.

No shirt, no socks/shoes, just a pair of shorts.

And I was still hot.

Couple that with the fact that my leg felt like a rat with dull teeth had been trying to gnaw it off all day, and ask yourself if you would have blogged.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Ok, so, on to news.

I haven't mentioned it (mostly cause i havent been blogging) but I took the plunge and ordered a new computer.

I went a little retro, and custom designed a P4 system with 4 gigs of ram and a 1gig PCIE vid card. See, knowing what I do about eq (which is what this box is primarily for) I know that this would tear it up.

I didn't go Dell, and I didn't go HP, as, like anything else, when you buy a name, that's what you mostly pay for: The Name.

Parts is parts, as they say.

I'm happy to report that my computer arried Thursday last.

I'm not so happy to report that I have to send it back, as it's not doing what it should. Does this make me happy? No. Does it make me regret my choice to go generic? No. Did this cause me to go ahead and try to plug my laptop into the internet and see if it would run eq? Yes.

I'm happy (and sad cause i didnt try sooner) to report that my lappy eats everquest. Well, at least so far. I wish I'd have tried earlier, but I never in a million years would have thought that it would work.

I've also plugged a USB mouse and keyboard into Lappy, and am currently using it to type this fabulous blog.

Ok, so on to the maudlin.

Today would have been Greg's 44th birthday.

It's funny how the time gets away from you. We're working on 2 years since he died, and it still tears at me that he's gone.

If any of y'all are still reading this, please send out a silent 'Happy Birthday, Greg.'

It'll mean a lot to me.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Ok, so sue me.....

I've totally been a crappy blogger.

I get that.

I've also been dealing with a pulled hamstring (not fun if you were wondering) and life in general.

I realize that life in general is what blogging is all about, but.....

So, yeah. I was a while ago, like a couple days before we left for the wedding that I pulled the hammy. I think I got it from a 'step lower than expected' episode. That, or I've been running track in my sleep or something.

Whatever the case, it fucking hurts!!

If I'm up and moving around (like walking a mile and a half to red lobster) it's mostly ok, but any time I have to actually sit or stand, I get what feels like someone jabbing a knife into the back my upper thigh.

Well, my ass, if you want to get technical. Sadly, there's no real 'cure' for it. Rest, ice, and, well aspirin. That's about it. Let me tell you, it fucking sucks. It's bad when walking to work actually causes less pain that getting in/out of the car when I get a ride.

But enough bitching.

The wedding was great, and (some of) the food was great. I posted pix from the wedding on my twitter, if you want to go see them. I'd post them here, but they're in my phone, and I'm not in the mood for the whole process I'd have to go through to get that done.

I've got more to say, but this is getting long, so I'll come back tomorrow.

Promise.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Continental breakfast? Yeah, right!!

If you follow me on , (and if you dont why dont you) then you may know that I'm in Fresno for a wedding.

We're staying at a place called The University inn, which is right across the street from Cal State Fresno.

We got here yesterday afternoon, checked in, and then decided to go have some chow. Since we saw a BJ's Brewhouse on the same street as our hotel, we decided to just walk over and have some dinner.

Turns out that while we thought it was 'just down the street,' it was considerably further than we'd anticipated. We saw Marie Callendars, Black Angus, and various other eating establishments.

We never did find BJ's, but we did make it to Red Lobster (our second choice last night) and since we'd never eaten at a RL before (and since we had no idea how far away bjs was) we decided to eat there.

Both Pops and I were impressed. The food was good (sauce was a little overpowering), the service was outstanding, and it was a very reasonable price. The blue cheese dressing needed help, but overall, it was a great dinner. Oh, and the free bisciuts rock.

We walked (miles) back to the hotel, and crashed out. Well, after a beer to two.

We got up this morning to have our continental breakfast....

Now, when I think of a continental breakfast, I think some kind of sweet roll, or muffins, or fruit....Not so much the case at this place.

There were 4 loaves of bread, a bowl of jelly paks, and a couple toasters.

There was coffee, of course, and a couple canisters with dry cereal in them, and a couple pitchers of milk.

That's all.

Pretty pathetic, actually.

Needless to say, we got a couple of coffees to go, and I went to Mickey D's for some Value Menu Goodness....

Being the dumbass I am, I decided to walk. Mc D's was much further away than I'd remembered, even after last nights walking fiasco....

Of course, just after we ate, we got a call from one of my cousins (in the same hotel) to let us know that everyone was going to breakfast.

Story of my life.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel.

Horace Walpole is credited with that quote.

I don't know if he was the first to say it or not, but I tend to agree with the analysis.

I'm posting from work today, so I don't get to write much, but I thought I'd drop in and post so y'all don't think I've fallen off the face of the Earth or something.

Hope all is well with y'all.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Happy Mother's Day....

To you, Mom, as well as any other mothers reading this.

That's all for now.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Two hearts slamming/As one /It's Blood music

Once again, tendency to be early has bitten me in the ass.

See, the vampires got ahold of me this past Friday, and I set an appointment. I had this great plan for today that included a trip to walmart, the to the coven. As I was walking, and not really sure how long the trip was going to take, I left a little earlier than I would have if Wally world wasn't involved.

Needless to say, I got to UBS waaaaaaaaay too early.

Got to the front door at 10:00, and they aren't open yet. I'm hoping that they open at 10:30, but I'm not counting on it.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Suki plays with Leo, Sasha plays with Brit, Adolph builds a bonfire, and Rico plays with it.

I came here to bitch, and now I don't know what I want to say.

I mean, I could bitch about the weather, but I've been doing that a lot lately.

I could bitch about work, but I really don't mind my job. I mean, I hate that I'm working at all, but you know what I mean.

I seem to bitch about work even more than I do the weather, though.

I guess I'll tell you another story from my 7-ELEVEn days, and that way I can entertain you and bitch about work at the same time.

I call this one:

What drive through?

Early in my career in the C-Store business, our handyman did us a huge favor. He gave us one way doors. See, when I started there, the doors would push in as well as pull out (that sounds bad) and it was very irritating, because the doors when pushed open, would inevitably lock open and would break the door buzzer light....

And it would go off continuously....Imagine the old round, red school bell. Yeah, like that but a little smaller.....

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

It was fucking ghastly!!

I can't tell you how happy I was when he made them one way doors. I was also surprised that it was as easy as it was. He merely pop-riveted an L-shaped strip of aluminum into the the top of the door frame, restricting the door's movement.

It was brilliant, and it provided me with endless hours of entertainment. I know, because on slow nights, I'd count, that fully one-third of my customers would look right at the sign, and push ineffectively on the door.

Many were locals, and would say 'Heh....you'd think I'd learn....'

Yeah, think being the operant word.

But, I didn't come here to talk about that....

Believe it or not, that was all exposition.

So, picture it:

I'm in the vault (aka walk-in cooler) stocking one night. I didn't mind doing it, and actually preferred to, because I did it right. I'm cruising through, grabbing beer, soda, whatever, when I hear this tremendous

BANG!!

My first thought was 'What fucking now?!?'

I head out of the vault, and look towards the front door, and see a pick up truck.

On the sidewalk.

With his bumper against the frames of our double doors.

Seems his 'gas pedal malfunctioned' or 'his breaks were soft' or he 'hit the brake instead of the gas,' I don't remember which, but what made it memorable were the glass doors.

See, they were intact. After everything was over....insurance, cops, a total fuck-a-roo, I took a look at the door. Now, this was a typical 7-ELEVEn, with those nice double doors, which are set in a pretty sturdy aluminum box which surrounds both doors. Yeah, that huge door frame punched into the store by almost half an inch, and neither of the doors broke.

I think about that little inanimate aluminum strip every now and then, and every time, I thank my handyman again. See, had that strip not been there, the doors would have slammed open, and one at least (would have hit the magazine racks) would have exploded.

Cause you just know who would have had to clean up all that fucking glass...

Buenos con queso,

T.

P.S. Here's an HNT

Subtle innuendos follow/There must be something inside

So, I'm marginally back online at home.

I can't play eq, and I can't....well, I guess all I can't do is play eq, but I still feel like I've lost a limb or something....

I've been on Twitter.com quite a bit lately, due to my 'puter difficulties. It's not the same, of course, cause I only get 140 chars to say stuff, but I do my best.

Oh, I also applied for an internship on Ellen's Show, so if there's a vote/popularity contest thing, I expect at twelve votes,as I have 12 followers....

I mean, right?

Buenos con queso,

T.

ps if you want to follow me on twitter search for...duh....kvenya

City girls just seem to find out early, how to open doors with just a smile....

Well, it's HNT, so here you go:




Since I got to walk to work in a snowstorm, that's all I'm giving you today.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Once we loved the flowers, now we ask the price of the land.....

It really sucks not having access to a computer at home.

Of course, that's at least partially my fault, as I haven't tried anything else to fix my desktop, nor have I even tried to put my laptop into the network upstairs, and see if I can get it online.

I just seem to find other things that need to be done, I guess.

On a totally unrelated note, I've decided to start an 'obscure song quote title' theme.

I have no idea how long I'll be at it, nor even how often I'll be posting, but if any of you are still reading this drivel, please join the fun by seeing if you can identify the source of the upcoming titles, today's included.

I should prolly stop fucking around and get to work.

Sigh.

Buenos con queso,

T.

We had a storm coming in this morning....

So, no spacestation pics or vids.

I'll have more as soon as I can.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I hate busy work...

I guess I should explain that.

See, I have no problem doing boring, mindless repetitive tasks if I'm at work. In fact most jobs I've had have had at least an delement of repetition, if not specific daily routines. Now, I don't necessarily subscribe to the 'if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean' philosophy, but if there's work for me to do, even if it's of the abovementioned variety, most of the time, I'll just work

I'll work through breaks (wait what are those), Hell, half the time I'll forget to take a lunch

No, what's been pissing me off lately, is the busy work in video games.

Again, I think I only have one regular reader that's a gamer, so if you want to leave now, I'll understand.

If you've been reading here lately, you may remember that I've been playing a borrowed copy of God of War III. Or maybe you don't, but for the purposes of today's story, it really doesn't matter. There are many things I expect in video games.

I expect my FPS to have a badass sniper rifle.

I expect my RPG to have great combat and spell effects.

I expect my action/adventure games to have puzzles.

These are all good things.

Even quests are good things. Go here, kill this guy, get a part
of the puzzle/weapon. I'm fine with that kind of stuff.

Tough bosses, locked doors, and hidden passages; I'm good with all that.

No, I'm talking about the annoying 'time wasters' that the designers toss in just to make the gameplay longer.

Things like timed puzzles. These just piss me off. I just got to a spot in GoW that goes like this: You're locked in a room, and there are flame jets on both sides of the room, and yes, the fire will kill you.

Fast.

Above you, trapped in a glass box is the person you're trying to save (escort missions suck too). If you take too long solving the puzzle, the box fills with water, she dies, and you fail. That's where I shut it off this morning. I hate when the set some arbitrary time limit and expect you to
work on their timetable.

I probably died 15 times before I shut the game off. Bullshit like this serves no purpose but other than to rack up some deaths, and make the game last longer. Time should only be a factor in sports games, or racers, where times are actually used, either as limits, or scores to beat.

Something else that pisses me off are fucking rythym puzzles. I'm a whiteboy from NorCal. I've got no rythym. I mean, I've made my peace with it and everything, but I also choose not to play games that utilize it.

Well, in case you couldn't see it coming, GoW III has one of those too.

Man, was I pissed!!!

That was another of the places where I just turned the fucking thing off. There's a reason I don't buy that type of game, and I resent the designers forcing me to.

---

Ok, enough of that.

I'm going to look for the space station again tomorrow morning.

Stay tuned.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I was up even earlier than usual this morning.....

But, it was at least partially my fault.

See, I set my alarm for 5, instead of the usual 6 am, as there was something I needed to do this morning.

So, instead of waking up at 5 (which is when i usually wake up) I woke up at 4:22. Needless to say, I just went ahead and got up, because trying to sleep for 38 minutes would have been a joke.

So, I can hear y'all asking me what in the world would have gotten me up that early this morning.

Well, I'm glad you asked. See, I downloaded an app from N.A.S.A. the other day. Among other things, it lists 'viewing opportunities' for sky-bound objects.

Case in point:




That, friends and neighbors, is the International Space Station as it tracked across my morning sky. Now, I didn't have my tripod, so the picture's a little shaky, but that white line is the path that the ISS drew as it headed from WSW to NE on it's way around the planet.

I'm going to try and shoot some video on Sunday, but I'm not sure how that will go.

Check back, if you're of a mind.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Well, swapping out the power supply didn't work.....

Well, it kinda did. I mean, now my fan comes on, and the HD access light comes on, but the computer doesn't boot.

I don't really want to do it, but my next step is to canibalize a hard drive from one of my other computers and see if that flies.

I just hope the drive that's in the 'puter will still work as a slave.

Or I've lost all my music.

Again.

Grrrrr.....

Buenos con queso,

T.

Kratos

I'm trying (once again) to post a photo without an actual computer.

Here's hoping it works.

Buenos con queso,

T.

That was supposed to be a picture of the God of War III box.....

I'm not really sure what happened to the pic.

Oh well, whatevz.

Yeah, a buddy loaned me his copy, as he's playing MW2.

I plugged it in, and what can I say but Holey Schmoley!!

The intro, or what I like to call the 'come on', is amazing. Not only
does it depict all the key scenes from the first game, but it does it
masterfully.

The start screen??

OMFG!!!

I have pics, but obviously I'm not going to upload them, given my
earlier failure, but as soon as I can get to a computer, I'll post them.

The game itself is just fucking crazy. I know that only one of my
readers is a gamer (hi andie), but if any of you have a PS3, and if
you played the earlier games, I highly suggest you pick it up.

I was pretty tired, so I only played to the first checkpoint, but, as
noted above, it was fucking SICK!!

Oh, and I'm having a little contest:

The 1st person to buy me an iPad will be my new BFFL (best friend for
life).

Buenos con queso,

T.

Sent from my iPhone

Fwd: Guess what I'm doing tonight?

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: "T.J." <kvenya@gmail.com>
Date: April 3, 2010 8:31:20 PM PDT
To: NewJessi <mamachaos4@gmail.com>
Subject: Guess what I'm doing tonight?

Sent from my iPhone

Thursday scores a checkmate....

While I was at work feeling sad and blue because of the radio, there was a scheduled 'area power outage' in my neighborhood.

I'm not sure why, or who, or anything, but suffice it to say that from 8am until noon yesterday, 'they' had the power off at my house.

Unfortunately, my computer was running at the time. I usually shut it down when I'm not using it, but I had a DVD burning when I left, so I didn't shut down.

In retrospect, I prolly should have.

See, when I got home last night and hit the power button, I got no response.

Nothing.

I'm guessing that the power surge/spike from the restoral of power lunched something. Maybe my power supply, maybe the motherboard, maybe something else. All I really know, is that I'm without a desktop right now.

I'll prolly see if I can fix it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to have to buy a new box.

NOT what I want to do right now.

Well played Thursday, well played.

Buenos con queso,

T.

The radio's killing me today....

Did you ever haveone of those days when every song they play makes you think about your lost loves?

Well, I'm having one of those today.

Guess that's all I have for today.

Buenos con queso,

T.

There's an app for that

So, I was thinking back, and it's been ages since I made a post about my iPhone. What the hell's that about?

I know at least one of my readers has one (hey Q), but I don't know about the rest of you. If you don't, well, if you have the means I highly suggest you pick one up.

It's sooo choice.

I've been mucking about in the app store since I got my new baby, and I've acquired a fair few. I've only paid for one (its called appzilla and is 50 apps in one), and that cost me a massive $0.99.

I know, it was a wrench paying that, believe me.

I've got one that converts my iPhone into a police scanner. Well, not just police. Fire, weather, and oh yeah, I was listening to Tokyo air traffic control.....

I picked up a Twitter app, and of course, the marble maze. I also picked up Pandora.

I've got one that converts pictured into red/blue 3d images.

One I got in honor of one of my readers. She's been in and out around here. You may remember her as Whiskeymarie. See, she's a big monkey fanatic, and whenever I send her a package (which i just did) I make sure to put in a few monkey-related items.

So, here, for you Whiskey, is Monkey Flight.

I tried to embed that video, but it didn't want to play along.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Edit:

HA HA!! SCREW You Photobucket. YouTube rocks.

Ok, I'm not taking the blame this time.....

See, I was posting from my phone last night, like I've done several times, and for some reason, Blogger ate the post.

I totally could have reposted and all that crap, but I was tired, and just said Fuck It. I tend to say that a lot when I'm tired.

I'm still tired, just so you know. I woke up way to early (again), and now I'm waiting for my coffee to brew to try and take care of this tired for me. One of these nights, maybe I'll actually get some sleep.

Well, I can hope.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Geez....it's a good thing I'm not a brain surgeon or anything.....

Because if I forgot operations as often as I forget to blog, there'd be a lot of crazy/dead people out there.

I've been going over it in my head, and I can't figure out how or why I forgot to blog yesterday.

I know, I'll blame it on Thursday. I haven't blamed anything on Thursday in a while.

In case you don't follow me on twitter, I should tell you that we had snow on the ground yesterday morning. There wasn't a lot, or anything, but it was snow.....

Yes, that's right, fucking snow!!

What the shit is that about? It was supposed to snow last night, but I don't know if it did or not. I haven't really looked outside yet.

I guess that's all from T.J.land this am.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I'm broke down, insufferable--my mind is on the blink, It's later than you think and I'm too daze gone

Wait a minute, what happened to Monday and Tuesday...

Oh, yeah, now I remember. I went shopping all day Monday (see my tweets) and then did some drunken gambling.

Oh, and I had a surprise yesterday, and got to go play some golf (see my tweets).

On both of those days, due to beer and such, I found myself too relaxed to post....

Which basically means I fell asleep, and woke up too late (after midnight) to get a post in on time.

Oh well, as I said when I fucked up the first time this month, I'm pretty ok with the fact that I didn't get posts out.

I was having too much fun, and as long as I have an excuse, I don't mind that I missed.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I must be cruel, only to be kind: Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.

Aren't Fridays the shit?

I love them, even tho my Fridays are Sundays.

I wish I had some wonderful words of inspiriation for you all,
but I'm whipped.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Strange traffic.....

Ok, so I'll admit it.

I have stat trackers on my site. They're right over there, under my little flickr app. If you click on Sitemeter, or Feedjit, it will take you to the stats pages.....

I should tell you at the outset tho, that I'm not really interested in how many people hit my page, but rather where they're from, and mostly, what they searched to find my site.

I've talked about it before, but I still find it facinating what obscure search paramaters sometimes bring folks into my little world.

Some of you may remember this post from a while back.

Well, imagine my surprise when I checked my stats today, and saw that more than 20 people had hit that page today.

From Facebook.

Yeah, what the fuck?

So, diligently sorting through the info, I found that at approximately 10:45 am my time, someone in State College, Pennsylvania googled the phrase 'jeopardy toilet paper thief. '

Now, why anyone would be surfing that particular phrase is anybody's guess. I mean, if you'd never heard about it, you'd never search for it (obviously) and if you did know about it, why wouldn't you just write something yourself?

Or maybe try and find one with a little more information? Let's be honest: my post isn't chock full of facts or anything.

In re-reading it (i mean i had too right) I grinned as I read the 'call of the day.' It still cracks me up that someone would ask me the number for their own voicemail.

Oh, by the way, if any of you see a reference to that post on somebodys wall, or if some sends it to you, please let me know. I'm dying to see how it was presented on facebook.

Buenos con queso,

T.

The problem's plain to see; Too much technology

It occured to me tonight that with the obscene amount of MW2 I've been playing lately, I'm surprised that I haven't missed more days of blogging.

In fact, if you take into account that I'm even playing as I post, it's downright miraculous.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I don't have anything strange to say tonight.....

It's St. Patrick's day.

I had this for dinner:




Times 2. I'm stuffed, and I'm going to pass out now.

Buenos con queso,

T.

A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March

I had planned a whole big post for yesterday, but as you may have noticed, I missed my blogligation yesterday.

Yup, that's right, I fucked up again.

Oh well, I'm over worrying about it these days. If I remember, I remember, if I don't I don't.

Whatevez.

Buenos con queso,

T.

The strangest thing.....

I haven't posted about music in a while, but here goes.

So, I'm cruising through iTunes, building a playlist of 'essentials.'

There are some songs that I just have to be able to listen to whenever I want. Here, in no particular order, are a few of them.

1. Jet Airliner, by Steve Miller. (i love the joker and fly like an eagle but hear them too much)

2. Heart of Glass, by Blondie. (the original not the funky disco one *must* have the word ass or wph wtp)

3. Life in the Fast Lane, by The Eagles. (this is prolly #2 on my atf list)

4. Hard Headed Woman, by Elvis Presley. (he really was The King)

5. Juke Box Hero, by Foreigner. (what can i say)

I am sad to say that due to a past hard drive crash, there were some songs that I could not add to the playlist. These include, but are not limited to:

1. Industrial Disease, by The Dire Straits.

2. Hard to Handle, by The Black Crowes.

3. Why Can't I Be You?, by The Cure. (iknow right)

4. Rock of Ages, by Def Leppard, nor I might add, any of that album.

5. Most of my Rush collection (which im working on as i speak)

So, for no reason at all, I'm going to make this a meme. I'm not really one of those 'tag you're it' kind of meme'rs, so if you want to play along, please post your top 10 (or 5) songs. I'd appreceiate it if you put a link back to my post if you do.

Buenos con queso,

T.

P.S. one that i should have put in that top 5. dont know what i was thinkin' Turning Japanese, by The Vapors.

P.P.S. also, and i have no fucking idea how it ended up in my library, none other than the 1987 pop classic by Tiffany, I Think We're Alone Now. in case you were wondering, thats the strangest thing.

P.P.P.S last one, i promise. the title's actually a movie quote. obsure, but outstanding. any guesses?

Is it bad karma to pee on a fortune cookie?

I'm curious about that, cause last night at WalMart...

I went in to take a leak and saw a (packaged) fortune cookie in the knee-high urinal. Seeing it, and that the urnial was so low, I backed up a bit, and turned to the taller one.

As I stood there, I thought 'that's actually pretty funny. I should get a pic of that fortune cookie.' Of course, as soon as I thought that, someone came in and started using the other urinal, thus thwarting my photo opportunity.

I know he was peeing on a fortune cookie though, and I was just wondering if anyone knows if it's bad luck, like breaking a mirror, or walking under a ladder....

Please weigh in with your answers.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I have a great story to tell you...

Tomorrow.

I know, I suck, but I'm fucking bushed. I haven't slept all that well the last coue
nights.

Buenos con queso,

T.

You know something I don't need?

One more fucking person to tell me that I should get a fucking bike!!!!

I'm fucking serious, folks.

For some reason, the fact that I'm between vehicles seems to being the adviceniks out of the woodwork. For the record, I'm not adverse to bike riding. I've had my share of bikes, and while I've enjoyed riding them, most of my rides involved simple back and forth trips, which I suppose is what we're talking about, here, but with some important differences.

For example, the trip from my house to work takes just about as long walking as it would riding a bike against the wind, which due to our mountain winds would be both ways for me.

Also, as soon as you mount a bike, you're piloting a 'vehicle' and are subject to traffic laws. As a pedestrian, I always have the right of way. When a gust of wind blows sand in my face (a regular occurance) I can lower my head without fear of wrecking.

I don't have to find a place to lock up my shoes, either.

Are folks so adverse to walking in this day and age that the thought of someone doing it makes them want to fix something that's not broken?

I don't know, but the next person that says that to me stands a fair chance of getting punched in the chops.

I'm just sayin'.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Strange emails from the ethesphere.....

And no, I'm not talking about my spam...I plan on doing a blog about my spam at some point, but I always seem to put it off....

In any event, as you know (if youve read here for any length of time)one of my duties at work is to answer the store emails.

I get all kinds, just like my personal email.

Some are for one of the managers, or someone else in the store. These are dutifully printed out and hand delivered to the intended recpient. Often, they'll come back to me and tell me to respond, and what they'd like the response to be.

I also get spam at work (big surprise) but just like home, I neither open, nor read same. I simply bounce them to the sender, camoflauging our working email addy as a broken one.

I also get (rarely) emails asking valid questions about stuff on ebay or gun broker, or on the terms of our layaway.

Yes, we offer layaway. Even for things bought online. It's a wonderful world, and we're doing our best to make it better.....

I don't know if I've bitched about it here or not, but a good portion of my ebay mail contains only a single question: 'Do you have a "buy it now" price for this?'

Now, if any of you have been on ebay, you know that if there is a buy it now price, it's right fucking there!! If there isn't a buy it now price....well...there fucking isn't one there!!!

Well, needless to say, I got one of those today, to which I sent the usual response:

'Sorry, but my boss (and owner of the store) wants anything that we list to run the full length of the auction.

Thanks,

T.J.'

That's verbaitm. I mean, I've typed that enough times that I could type it with my eyes closed. Well, since I'm a touch typist, I can type pretty much anything with my eyes closed, but you get my point.

Somewhat later, I received an email telling me that 'I want to put this on layaway now, how do I do that' on an item that was still on auction!! I respond by saying that if someone is high bidder, and wins our item at the end of auction, we invoice them for a down payment, and go from there.

To which this fucktard responds 'Dang it. I thought you'd quote me a price and take it off of auction, and then I'd just pay it off all at once.'

I looked at the previously deleted email, and sure enough, it was the same prick I'd told earlier that we don't end auctions.

I swear, I fucking hate people.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I found this site.

I didn't really explore it, but it seems fun.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I hate when I forget to blog...

Well, I guess I didn't actually forget, but I almost did.

iPhone to the rescue once again...

Well, guess that's all for now.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I've always relied on the kindness of strangers...

Well, in all actuality, I guess I've always counted on the stupidity of strangers.

There's not a specific instance of stupidity that I came here to share today, I just thought it was a good twist on the classic quote I used for a title.

I think I may have seen the movie once, and I know there was an episode of The Simpsons wherein they did a Springfield version of it.

This is kind of rambling and strange, so it fits with the theme for the month.

Oh, I should mention that Mr. Ridiculous came in again yesterday, and I'm not ashamed to say that I ran away like a frightened little girl. I might have stayed, but he came in like 5 minutes before my shift was over.

Buenos con queso,

T.

At least now when I forget to blog before leaving the house...

I can just whip out my iPhone and take care of it while I ride (or walk) to work.

How cool is that?

So, are you all sick of hearing about my new phone yet?

Yeah, well, get used to it. I'm going to be going on about this new beauty for ages to come. Nothing really exciting today, just wanted to get my daily post in.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Do these cookies taste a little strange to you?

Disclaimer: The story you're about to read is true. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Mostly because there are only 2 people in the story, and I didn't know the other guy's name, and since I'm the other person, well, I'm pretty sure you'll know who I am even if I change my name.

Also, it's kinda gross, so if you're squeamish, you may not want to read any further.

Ok, so let me set the scene for you:

I was working at the 7-ELEVEn in Morro Bay California while I was going to school. It was a pretty good school job, as I had the swing shift (3-11pm) which gave me plenty of time for my classes during the day.

I knew most of my customers's faces, if not their names, and I had a good rapport with the folks that came into the store.

I also saw some shit that will turn you white, to quote Winston Zeddmore, and it was my stretch in that purgatory that produced the title for this blog, which will also be the title (eventually) of my book.

On the swing shift, I saw all types. Students from the local schools, parents on the way home from work, beach goers, old retired couples...It ran the gamut. I also saw many folks that were, let us say, chemically altered.

Not that I'm judging, or saying that getting your party on is a bad thing, but it gets kinda old when you have to wait on them.

This one night (i dont know what time but it was dark out) this group of kids (by my standards anyhow) comes in to feed their need for munchies. Again, not judging, but it can get realllllly old waiting on folks that are drunk/stoned.

They buy their items, and off they go.

Sometime later, one of them, I'll call him Blondie, returns. In his hands, he's carrying the box of cookies he bought. On his face, he's wearing an expression of combined revulsion and disbelief. He set them on the counter and said:

'Dude there's a problem with these cookies.'

Knowing that this kid's plastered, and wondering what could possibly be wrong with them, I open them up. I saw immediately what the problem was. Some of the cookies were mangled, and appeared to have been ground into powder.

Also, there were some very small moths in the package.

Oh, and moth larvae as well. Now, I don't know why fly larvae are called maggots, while moth larvae are called....well moth larvae, because at that moment, I couldn't have told you the difference.

The look on the kids face is starting to make sense now. If I'd been out partying and started eating a box of cookies then, I don't know, felt something crawling on me, or Heaven forbid, something burst in my mouth, I think I'd have been pretty grossed out too.

Tho I was feeling his pain, my only option is to offer him his money back. I mean, that's really all I could do. I tell him so, and says:

'No, dude, you don't understand. I ATE some of these.'

I told him that I did understand, and now matter how much I sympathized, the only thing I was authorized to do was refund his money. I told him that the owner would be in for the graveyard shift, but that unless and until he spoke to the owner, all I could do was refund his money.

Needless to say, he took it, and left without incident.

Ok, so yeah, it's gross, but even in the midst of my disgust, I couldn't help but wonder how they had gotten there. I mean I don't remember what kind of cookies they were, but the packaging seemed pretty secure. It was a white cardboard box which was tightly wrapped in paper, for crying out loud.

My only guess is that it must have happened in the plant somewhere, long before the cookies made it to us.

In any event, if you want my advice, always check your cookies before you eat them.

Buenos con queso,

T.

It's strange...

Having this iPhone, I mean.

Normally, I'd be at my desk doing this, but instead, I'm sitting in a chair in the living room waiting for my coffee to brew. Not that I'm complaining, you understand. There's something about the smell of coffee on the brew that's absolutely Heavenly.

Sadly, however, as much as I love my coffee (and i do) it doesn't quite live up to the smell. Popcorn's the same way. Again, I love me some popcorn, but it doesn't taste as good as it smells.

In fact, just about the only thing I can think of that does, is bacon.

Mmmmm..... Bacon.....

When it's cooking, it permeates the air with a promise of deliciousness, and unlike coffee and popcorn, it delivers.

Well, if it's cooked right.

There aren't many things worse than burnt bacon.

Or burnt popcorn for that matter.

Buenos con queso,

T.

I think I threw my back out opening my Carmex

Well, not really, but that's the most strenous thing I've done lately. I mean, I know I have a bad back, so I'm ultra careful.

I lift with my legs.

If I need to move something heavy, I'll get help.

In fact, I'll do almost anything to avoid putting my back out.

That being said, something went wrong yesterday. I don't know what happened, but all day yesterday (and so far today) it's all I can do to stand up.

In case you were wondering, it's not fun.

Buenos con queso,

T.

When you're strange....Faces come out of the rain...

I know, I know, that's two titles from the same song.

So sue me.

I'm going to tell you about the strangeness of my yesterday now. See, Monday has become the new 'cash my check and get my drunken gamble on' day. More of of necessity than anything else.

See, I get paid on Fridays, and I could totally go out Friday night and play, but then I'd be suffering on Saturday. Or I could go out on Sunday night, and be suffering Monday morning.

I find it's much nicer to walk over in the morning on Monday, though. There are those that will argue that you shouldn't drink 'before the sun's over the yard arm,' but I say nuts to that.

I'll drink whenever I damn well please, and there's not a fucking thing you can do to stop me.

Anyhoozle, Pops and I both had a good day at the casino. He cashed out $100. I cashed out $200. It's a good thing too, because, I was a victim of C.P.F. yesterday

For those of you that don't know, that's Catastrophic Phone Failure. It's not something I was unprepared for, you understand. I've had this particular cell phone for a year now, and it was really starting to show it's age. Well, yesterday, it gave up the ghost.

Fortunately, I had some ready cash for my upgrade, and after a short stroll to the AT&T store, I'm the proud owner of.....

....drumroll please.....

A brand-spanking-new iPhone.

That's right, bitches, I'm too cool for all of you now.

I've been playing with it almost non-stop since I got it. It's like butter baby. The only problem I can see coming from this new addition is that I'm prolly gonna be spending way too much money on ring tones.

They have a vast variety to choose from, and they're only like $1.29 each. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I prolly don't need more ringtones than the stock ones, but I know I'm going to get more.

I mean, wouldn't you?

Buenos con queso,

T.

People are strange when you're a stranger...

So, I signed up for nablopomo again.

The theme this month is strange.

I have plenty to say on the topic of strange, but for tonight I'll just say that it's strange to be posting from my phone...

Buenos con queso,

T.

It's not quite like Pawn Stars.....

I mean, I don't know if any of you are watching that, or if any of you even know (or remember) that I work in a pawn shop, but I watched an episode, just to see how far off they are.

Some of what they portray is acceptable, but I guarantee you that we almost never 'call our expert' on items that come into our store....

See, the deal is, we all kinda have to be experts on stuff.

Plus, there's the internet.

We usually use ebay (how lame right) to help us determine what stuff is worth. In the grand scheme of things, their prices are fairly accurate, as they demonstrate what people are actually willing to pay for stuff.

Certain things, like diamond jewelry, cars, and guns are easiest.

See, diamonds are gradeable, and gold is weighable.

Cars? Well, there's Kelly, and having a mechanic on staff to evaluate them makes that a breeze too.

Guns are easy too. Not just because all the guys here (and a couple of the girls) are waaaaaay into guns, and the owner is the most devoted of us all....

Plus, there's Gunbroker.com to help us. Much like ebay, this gives us a frame of reference.

Something you'll prolly never see on t.v. is this:

We hired a new guy yesterday. Both of my managers were excited for him to start, and hoping that he could do well.

This morning, on his 1st day, before even clocking in, he came in and announced that 'after sleeping on it' he didn't think he'd do well in the job, and rather than 'waste our time' he would rather not work here.

I know, right?

I guess some people just aren't cut out to be Pawn Stars.....

Buenos con queso,

T.

I'm not always ridiculous....

But I met someone today that I can almost guarantee is.

He was an older gentleman, with a moderate attempt at a beard, and thinning used to be blonde hair. He was talking to one the girls about a piece of jewelry when I first saw him. I wasn't really paying attention to him, but I was pickingu up a word here and there.

I'm not really sure how I got drawn into the conversation, but I think it started with my camera. He said something about Nikon, and we started talking cameras. Well, I was talking cameras.

He was talking about everything in the world, from the origin of the Peace sign to the physical properties of Titanium.

He touched on Chinese astrology, and how 'God does things' on odd numbered days. As we spoke (at length if youre not understanding) I noticed the hospital bracelet.

There was also the nervous-twitch-like way he kept snapping the fingers of his right hand.

I think the highlight of the conversation, for me anyhow, was when he pulled off his V.A. issued velcro fastening slippers, his olive drab sock, and pointed out to me that he was missing the big toe on his right foot.

I shit you not.

Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible to disengage from the conversation, as he was unrelenting. I finally caught a break when he asked where he could sit down to put his sock and slipper back on.

He shuffled around the jewelry case with a cry lf 'where's my toe?!?' and proceeded to find another victim.

I wish I could tell you that this was a made up story, but even I'm not that creative.

Buenos con queso,

T.

To be honest, I think I'd rather have the disease.....

I'm sure you've seen the same commercials as me.

I think it's kind of funny that Big Pharm is actually advertising drugs themselves. Remember when you doctor told you about medicines that he thought could help you? He'd take your condition and history into account and by trial and error, he'd come up with medications to help you with your problems.

Now, every day, we get bombarded with ads for Paxil and Lunesta.

Don't these fuckers have enough money? I mean, do they really need to prey on these folks looking for relief? They plant an idea into their heads that their newest 'wonder drug' can cure up that stubborn liver failure or nervous disorder.

What gets me most of all, however, is the fucking side effects. The first 10 seconds of the commercial tells you what the drug is supposed to cure, and the next 2 minutes tells you all the things that can go wrong.....

Take Lunesta for example. Here's a drug that's supposed to help you sleep, get rest. Well, like lots of people, I have nights where I have trouble sleeping, and you all know (because i bitch about it incessantly) that I usually wake up way too early, but even if I thought it was enough of a problem to try this shit, I think I'd take a pass....

I quote:

Anxiety; decrease in sexual desire; difficulty with coordination; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; headache; indigestion; lightheadedness; nausea; nervousness; unpleasant taste; vomiting.

Now, thiese are the most common side effects. I've bolded a couple I want to talk about. Let's start with drowsiness.

Drowsiness. Really? In a sleep med? Drowsiness better be one of, if not the fucking main effect if I'm taking this shit to sleep.

Nervousness. That's great. Now I'm tired and nervous. I don't know about you, but I can't sleep when I'm nervous.

Vomiting. Yeah, that's helpful. Now, I'm drowsy, nervous, and I'm going to puke. Prolly in my bed, as I'm too drowsy to get to the bathroom. Yeah, I'd be nervous about that.....

Now, we have what the site Drugs.com calls SEVERE side effects. Just so you know, they're the ones that put severe in all caps.

So, things that can occur:

Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue; unusual hoarseness); aggressive behavior; breast growth; chest pain; confusion; depression; hallucinations; memory problems (such as amnesia); mental or mood changes; painful menstrual periods; seizures; severe mood swings; suicidal thoughts; swelling of hands or feet; symptoms of infection (eg, fever, sore throat, sinus or chest congestion); unusual or disturbing thoughts.

Really? In the commercial, they actually say 'walking, eating and driving while asleep with no memory of events' is a side effect.

What the fuck? I mean really.

If I'm up eating, sleeping or driving, I may be asleep, but I guaran-fucking-tee you I'm not getting rest.

And suicidal thoughts? Let's get real. I may have trouble sleeping, but I'm not about to blow my brains out because of it.

And that's just Lunesta.

A lot of the side effects listed above are pretty mild when compared to those from, say, Lexapro. This little wonder is an anti-depressant. After reading the side effects, I say 'yeah, right.'

The mild:

Constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; headache; increased sweating; lightheadedness when you stand or sit up; loss of appetite; nausea; stomach upset; tiredness; trouble sleeping

The ones I bolded are problematic. How can you be constipated and have diarrhea? Or be tired and drowsy and have trouble sleeping? I fucking swear.

And now, on to the severe ones:

Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); bizarre behavior; black or bloody stools; chest pain; confusion; decreased concentration; decreased coordination; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; hallucinations; memory loss; menstrual period changes; new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still; persistent or severe ringing in the ears;persistent, painful erection; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; seizures; severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping; severe or persistent headache; stomach pain; suicidal thoughts or attempts; tremor; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual or severe mental or mood changes; unusual weakness; vision changes; worsening of depression

I'm not going to bold and bitch about specifics in there, because I'd be here all day, and this post is already waaaaay too long, but for crying out loud people, this is a fucking anti-depressant. Most of the severe symptoms listed there would depress the most enthusiastic, well adjusted person on the planet, let alone someone who's already fucking depressed.

If you've got a few minutes, head over to Drugs.com and read some of the others. It's a hoot.

Ok, I'm done ranting for today.

Buenos con queso,

T.

Shaun White is fucking SICK!!!

That poor boy has got a disease, and I'm not sure there's a cure.

I don't know if any of you know anything about snowboarding, or even if any of you care, but he took the gold medal again last night.

His first run was 45.8 out of 50.

Based on qualifying, he got to make his run last, and after a near-perfect run, he was sitting in 1st place, with a second run to go.

All of the others tried, and some of them improved their scores, but nobody got close. Shaun got the medal standing at the top of the half-pipe.

He was faced with a choice at that point, and rather than just loaf it down the run, he went even bigger and better.

He finished the run with a new trick, one he came up with himself.

It's called a Double McTwist 1260. I don't even know how to begin to describe the trick, so I'm not going to try. I'm sure if you want you can find a video of his 'victory lap' out there on the 'net someplace, and I highly suggest you do.

The run, while stunningly spectacular, and even more perfect (48.5) was just icing on the cake. He did it mostly for the fans, I think, and to show off his new trick.

There's an interview with him on MSNBC, and he's said that if things work out, he'll be in Russia for the next winter games.

Here's hoping he is:




Buenos con queso,

T.

Fuck ice skating.....

Now, now, hear me out.

As some of you may be doing, I've been watching the Olympics. All I've seen is some of the skiing, and of course, ice skating.

I watched Apollo Ohno and C.J. Celski win thier medals in speed skating.

The Cinderella story, of course, was Celski. I don't remember the particulars, but he had an accident some time back while skating.

Seems he fell, and in the process, cut himself with his skate.

He needed 60 stitches.

Sixty!! Shit, I've had stitches at least 5 times (not counting my wisdom teeth) and I haven't had 60 total.

The best part?

He was like an inch or so from severing his femoral artery. Now, I'm not sure of the exact amount of time, but I know that if you cut that baby, you bleed out in no time.

So, this guy was like an inch from death.

Then there's Zhang and Zhang (no relation) that skate couples. In the '06 Torino games, they did this:



You don't really have to watch the whole thing. Right about the 1:23 mark, they do one of the compulsary throw moves.

It does not go well.

The story ends happily, however. Believe it or not, that little girl gets up off the ice, and the pair manage to capture silver. They skated last night, and thy're still amazing.

There was another pair, from Germany I think, and they had an accident in the past too. The mention how the male's skate had 'nicked the face' of his partner.

She needed 80 stitches.

And plastic surgery.

So, while I'm in awe of the strength, stamina and determination that these athletes show, not to mention how fuking impossible it would be to try and pull that shit off while you're on ice (i have trouble walking on it for fuck's sake) I think I'll take a pass.....

I'm perfectly happy to just sit here and watch.

Buneos con queso,

T.

What's a 12 letter phrase for I'm not listening to you?

'I just hit mute.'

See, that's what I usually do when the commercials come on. Mostly because they're all so stupid and annoying.

It's not that hard to make a good commercial, but for some reason, the people making them seem to have some sort of brain deficency that makes them think that the more annoying something is, the more effective it is.

Well, let me ask you this: How effective can it possibly be if the only reaction it ivokes (in me and pops at least) is to immediatlely mute the tv and ignore the images on the screen?

Do you think I'm likely to use a company, or purchase a product that has been the source of constant annoyance for who knows how long?

Not fucking likely.

There are some out right now that I don't totally hate, but they're few and far beetween. The new Geico ones with the guy in the suit are pretty good. My fave is the 'Does a ten pound bag of flour make a pretty big biscuit' one.

Buenos con queso,

T.

The Original Blue Cheese Dressing Recipe

Well, basically.

Ok, as promised, I'm going to give you the recipe for the best blue cheese dressing you'll ever have.

Like most good recipes, this one is simple. There are only 5 main ingredients. Here's what it looked like as I was getting ready to start:



Just to run it down, that's sour cream (2 pints), blue cheese (2 8oz tubs), mayo, olive oil, and buttermilk.

That, and a little garlic powder and pepper, and you've got heaven in a bowl.

Ok, step one:

Mix equal parts sour cream and mayo in your bowl of choice:



Now, technically, that's 32 ounces of sour cream, and 30 ounces of mayo, but you get the idea. A word on mayo: For my average day to day sandwich needs, I buy whatever store brand is on sale. When I make dressing, I sport the extra cost and buy Best Foods, because, well, it's the....best.

Ok, so. Mix the sour cream and mayo until they're smooth and creamy.

Add some olive oil:



I wish I had a hard and fast amount to tell you, but as you know, most real chefs never use a recipe. You can get an idea from the photo. The olive oil is mostly for emulsification, so the amount is not critical, and you can always add more if you need to.

So, again, mix until the oil is fully incorporated.

Now comes the buttermilk:



Start with one cup. This is mostly for thinning the dressing down, and if needed, you can always add more. Most times, you will want to add a little after refrigerating overnight.

In any event, add the buttermilk, and again stir until smooth. I suppose technically you could add the buttermilk and oil at the beginning, and only go through the 'stir til creamy' step once, but I like to do it in stages.

A word about Bleu Cheese: The tubs you see are from Trader Joe's. The reason I use theirs is simple: Cost. If you look at your local store, you'll find 4oz for prolly 3.50 or so. Those eight ounce tubs are 3.49 at TJ's, so like half the price.

Time for a little seasoning:



That's black pepper and garlic powder. Again, I wish I had an amount to give you, but it's pretty much a 'to taste' thing. You could also add a little salt at this point, but it's usually not needed.

Again, mix until smooth. At that point, I add the cheese all at once, and gently fold/stir until the cheese is fully incorporated. Once you're done with this stage, your basically done:



In order to let the flavors fully marry, an overnight stay in the fridge works wonders. If your dressing seems too thick at that point, now's the time for a little more olive oil or buttermilk. Add either (or both) a little at a time until you get the consistency you want.

For storage, I spoon it into wide mouth mason jars.

Share and enjoy:



Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat.

Buenos con (azul) queso,

T.